Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Unidentifiable Space

Ever look through a lens of a train light? Those things are magnified so much that you could put a little light behind it and it would look like the heavens are opening in front of you. They take normal looking and mutilate it into an unidentifiable mash of colour.
I've been trying to explore my Yin practice more lately but I've been realizing how much fear is held in our bodies. There are so many poses where I'll be in it for a matter of breaths and suddenly get this great urge to get out of it and even stop doing my daily practice all together. It becomes so important to me to stop stretching and breathing that I feel like if I don't, the world will end and I'll implode into a puff of dust. My mind is putting this lens on my situation, taking it and expanding it so deeply that I can no longer see it for what it is. I'm not processing it as muscles expanding, mind being oxygenated, ligaments being stressed, ect. I'm seeing it as an emotional wreckage that needs to be avoided. All I'm doing is bringing more air into the tissue of my body and yet it's this turmoil of stress and anger.
I find that people do this in their daily lives as well. We get so wrapped up in our emotions, possessions, situations, abilities and capacities that we don't see it from an outside perspective. Which is why friends or counselors are always a good idea. People who aren't afraid to tell you the truth for your own betterment. Which will hopefully teach us to do it for ourselves and not depend on the people around us. Eventually, we can watch our own thoughts, our own mind processes and habits and see ourselves for what we are.
Just humans. In 93 billion light years of space.


Fall to sleep
Fall to sleep
It's you I long to keep
This room will never stay still for you and me

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Picture This - My Visual Life Part 4

A visual scattering of my life in the last two weeks:

Sibs of the younger variety.

A family picture taking we did. I decided this was classier.

Downtown Van. All of the lights.

Oh the boys of the New Year. SweetK was the photographer. Adding her feminine touch.

China. Town.

Meeting the neighbors.

7 floors of booky gooodness.

Going through my old photo albums of when I was wee. Found this gem of my late Oma and I. The sun was bright that day and my red balloon was much loved.

So my trip to the coast was lovely to say the least. I got to fully experience both sides of the scale between pulling my hair out with how crazy my family drives me and loving the nurturing kindness they would supply. Also, I am quite built for the moist ocean air. It agreed with me muchly. I miss the forest, the dew, the fog, the puddles, the freshness.

Time is pulling my life into a good direction. I now have the ability to focus my energy in scheduled segments on myself and on others rather than mixing and mashing my self time and social life. It's going to be a good couple months, I think. And when spring rolls around, it can only get better. Flowers will bring a new wind of change and who knows where I'll be at that point? I have love, peace, melody and balance as my starting point of this year.

Why, hello 2012, I surrender to you.

"In this moment, what is lacking?"