Monday, March 26, 2012

Happy Hearted Wanderer

This is for all who might have been feeling dull in the last few months. For the brains in the skulls of the people who have not yet felt the spring warmth that is trying desperately to remind them of the explorations to be had, the adventures to be taken on and the Neverlands that are in dire need of fumbling upon. A reminder, if you will, that this chill that is quite slowly fading, is not all that is out there as of right now.
The mist is slowly rising here in the Northern Flatland. It was thick as cooled cream this morning. I take so much joy in how gorgeous and yet dangerous something like water molecules in the air can be. I am so thrilled by the softness it creates but yet by the fact that you are at a high risk when your visual ability is so restricted with no ability to really change the setting or even help the situation all that much.
It reminds me of the Valley and pulls so hard on my heart as my family was also recently here from said Valley Homeland. I miss it dearly. The water content within a landscape changes everything. My body yearns to be hydrated by just the air itself. My skin is cracked and flaked in spite of the longevity of this stay in the Flatland. But as much as I am itching to leave, I think my mind is just taking the first sanctuary I know and making it my dreamland.
Whereas, if I were just to up and travel, I'm sure that would do just fine.
I love the idea of being able to take half a day to pack up all I have, shove it in my car, and drive to wherever. Or maybe, put all I own in a storage unit and fly off to some far off land. I am a little saddened by the fact that I settled here in the Flatland for so long rather than continuing my momentum and pushing onwards. I find myself losing that longing to be worldly and cultured the more that I settle in and plant roots.
I know our plan for travel is very much laid out and scheduled, but the impatience is still there and so strong. Maybe it's just winter fever as well. The cold months can be so long and draining, it really takes a chunk out of ones spirit.
Something that keeps me going though, is the pleasure I take out of little things. Like writing letters, drawing pictures, putting curious things in curiouser places, and so forth. A pass time I have previously indulged in is taking an old paperback novel and drawing in ballpoint on many random pages. Perhaps even cutting some out and splicing others in. Once I am satisfied with my work and have left enough room for others, I pass it on or leave it in a public place. I would love to track them but that isn't the important part.
I think the solution to my unsettled mindset is just to reconnect with that side of my mind. What with the union and uprooting of my belongings as of lately, I've not been nudging my creative side very much. Until I am ready in all ways to continue my wandering, I shall raise my clenched fist in the name of all things longing to be connected with far off places and press on in my strange and colourfully bumbling ways.
Maybe this is just my own reminder. Perhaps this is purely something to tell myself that I am only as stuck as I allow myself to be. But you might be able to take this as your own little finger tie and change your rhythm. Ask yourself, honestly, if there is something that you are doing in life that is taking away from what is important. Don't be afraid of your answer, for it will only bring you more happiness once you've gotten it all sorted out. Find the hurdle, remove the hurdle, continue forward in your lovely meandering pathways to contentment. I'll do the same. Together we can take the problems that become so lumbering and tiresome and reveal them to be the small feathers in the wind that they are. Lets take our troubles and tribulations to the river and wash them away so to recycle the bad into the good and bring forth a clean slate of Spring and bloom.
Creative creatures unite.


All music dedicated to the soothing of the souls of The Wee One and Lady Love. May you rest well and tumble forwards to the acoustic sounds of the world.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Picture This - My Visual Life Part 5

The view from the kitchen in the evening time.
Yarn is now a constant part of my unconscious dream state. Lady Love has taught me to crochet. Oh dear.
Kitten Loves her new windows. Much happier in this home, me thinks.
BadyLug infestation. Is quite entertaining when living with three cats.

Teaching much more leads to more sunning naps. Yoga studio approved.
Many thoughts going through this brain of fluff. Not nearly enough time to sort through and write them down. May or may not be lost forever. Who knows. Doesn't help that I am now full of mucus and boogers (which equals being full of Buckley's and Bentasil) meaning creativity is quite lost.
Please send wishes of bettering and wellness.. or chocolate. That always makes things work properly.


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Stopwatch Pause

Ever taken a nap and woken up at a point in the day
where the sun may be just covered by clouds so that it looks like it could easily be dusk or dawn? For a second, there's a moment of disbelief that washes over you when you realize you could have potentially slept anywhere between 12 to 24 hours, depending on when you actually fell asleep. When this happens, I usually rush for my nearest electronic device to see what time and day it is. Now, checking what time it is, isn't too big of a deal. There are many situations I find myself in where I've lost track of time. It's when you have no idea of the date that really jars your mind.
It's a little funny how lost we become when that invisible road isn't laid out in front of us.
I was teaching a class and didn't have my phone on me. For some reason I figured that my Ipod didn't have a clock on it. I got 5 or so poses in when I had this thought and started to panic. Not wanting to break the flow of the class to ask if anyone could lend me a time device, I (somehow) figured I'd wing it and hope it turned out ok. That lasted all of 2 min. before I started to panic. My whole rhythm was thrown off and I started to rush a bit through the poses.
First of all, why I figured there was no means of telling time on an Ipod is unknown to me even now. Eventually I did discover the clock, thankfully. Secondly, why I thought I had any reason to panic is also a mystery. It is merely time, an illusion based on where the sun is during our "day to day" lives.
I understand that people want to feel as if we mean something. We want to feel as if we are fulfilling a purpose in existing. Which, in some ways we do. We affect the world and beyond just as much as it affects us.

On my way home from teacher training, I was seated next to a man. We got to talking and he confessed that he was not the best flyer in the world. At that point, I had just been doing countless amounts of yoga every day, meditating religiously, and was eating mostly organic, home made, fresh food. Needless to say, I was feeling at peace. Somehow, the most nervous man on the plane was seated next to the girl who would have been floating if she'd sung one more mantra. I thought back to what my Mum (a nurse) would do when she was doing someone's I.V. She would distract them with having them tell her stories. Pets, family, work, interests, whatever got their minds off of the needle being shoved into them. Using her fine tactic, we talked about his dogs, yoga, and just life in general.
It worked for the most part until we hit some turbulence as we were going over the mountains. There were no clouds bu the wind was apparently quite strong and was jostling us around a bit.
I'm enjoying myself. I'm drunk with acceptance and ready to take on anything be it plane crash or a little wind.
As I'm calmly talking him out of his panic attack, I look out the window for a glimpse at the pristine mountain scape below. As I do, the plan drops. Not nose first, of course, but straight down. Everyone feels the gravity change as our weight gets pulled up, hips pressing against the seat belt and arms hovering just slightly for all of 2 seconds. We regain normality once again and I think to myself. I just plummeted in a plane over top of mountains, thousands of feet in the air. I could have died in the blink of an eye. It could have all been over, just like that.

I am so small.

As much as we would like to think we are the center of everything, we also need to understand that we are despensable. Very much so. It takes very little to be able to wipe out a human life. Life in itself is fragile. Yet we cling to things like time and materials to try and shape our lives into a very detailed illusion.

My challenge to myself and the people around me is to pause, the next time you see or hear a clock. Think. Every time that little line moves, a moment of your life has passed. The "future" hasn't come yet and never will. The "past" no longer exists except for the imprint it has left in your mind. Every time that hand, attached to a gear, powered by a battery, moves a little more, your life is happening. You are the only thing that matters right at that second and yet, you matter very little at all. Enjoy the vast scape of opposites that are pulling at you and take advantage of each ticktock you hear. What are you doing with those seconds? Where is your mind in this moment?
Maybe you'd like to take that challenge and run with it. Maybe you care to push it a bit further. If so, take even just 5 min (also the time it takes for 2 commercial breaks) and be in the moment. Don't allow your mind to wander from past to future and back again. Observe what is happening now. Allow yourself to be fully aware of this current state.
See what happens.


*All yoga classes and frightened men mentioned turned out just fine.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

A Story

If you don't know me, I live in a fantasy world. It is a whole universe, really, so it is quite diverse. But my favorite part is the forest. There are many of them, all with different names and shapes. The one I care to talk of today is the one I've been living in for the past year or so. I've been looking for a change but I've been quite pleasantly lost and have not yet found a map. The woodland creatures keep telling me there is none and I must experience life to find my way around. I would like to think I've taken their advice to heart and done just that but, from time to time, it did bother me that I had still not come across any different terrain.
Until one day, some time ago, there was a call heard throughout the trees. A meek and sad call, it was. It cried for help so pleadingly that I answered softly.
Turns out, a Bear dressed quite handsomely as a Lumberjack was in a daze and required my assistance. He had lost what he thought was his love and wanted to find that connection again. Little did he know, what he knew as love was not as such. At the time, I didn't question it, but feeling sorry for the poor thing, I agreed to put in my worth. I was to teach him and his desired the ways of connection through movement and mind. When the time came to bring the lessons to them, she had dashed off, fearing many things and not wanting to take any risks.
He shrugged and with a drained heart, asked if I would perhaps still pass on my knowledge to him. I agreed, of course, for I believe in this knowledge with my whole heart and know it will benefit anyone who chooses to open to it.
So I come to his cabin to practice with him. We talk for a while and finally decide to get to work when we look at the time and realize hours have passed! After a little training, we part ways.
The next day he sends a squirrel to bring me the words "Either we are to have the best of friendship immediately, or we are to be united by God. in holy matrimony" I laugh, thinking back to how great his sense of humor was in our lengthy conversation. I thought of how able he was to get under my lily white skin with his challenges and honesty. How he exercised his capability to pull from me all emotions ranging between horribly uncomfortable to blissfully happy. He had shown me a whole new gradient of life.
From then on, I go to his abode upon a regular basis to have many an enthralling conversation with him. Despite taking an enormous interest in this warm hearted Bear, I exercise my rebellious side and tell him to find love in other places. Win back the object of his previous desire, find happiness in the Exotic Witch of Blonde and Ink, go and seek what you are looking for. He proposes that he wait for someone special but I push back with my iron will to test his character.
In the meantime, I prance along, biding my time with the company of friends. new and old. Not wanting to settle or land in one place for too long, I leave my trail of sparkles wherever I go, all the while keeping my sights on this strapping Bear. Until eventually my eyes start to become clear and he sees the longing that hides behind them. He becomes devious with his actions and words, mapping out an outcome with every moment. His love for this light hearted fairy becomes overwhelmingly large for his Bear chest, too much to contain, even. I daintily avoid the strength of his charm while ever tempting him to push the envelope more and more. Until eventually, with a soft will, he cools the fire of my past, lays my heart down on a bed of rainbows and promises comfort and adventure.
The Wizard of Education  then beccons him to live yonder for a time. I travel between lands to be able to keep him in my ever changing, quickly growing life. We struggle, we laugh, we play, until it comes to an end and we rejoice.
As we prepare for another change in scenery, he asks once again for our lives to become one and I agree upon the allowance of me having my way. I pick the ever fleeting day from the year of Leap to be united. And so it begins, the curious ways of the Bear and the Fairy, tumbling wildly through the forest. Turns out, the silly old Bear had the map the whole time. He just needed me to be able to understand it. Though we are so different and might not be in agreeance constantly, we are choosing to love. And we are now to travel the lands together, facing dragons and dungeons, mountains and sunrises, until as forever comes to an end. With love from our woodland friends and support from our families of Fairies and Bears, we venture off into the unique words of our combined wonderlands where we shine light and laughter on every creature we come across.

And they lived whimsically ever after.