Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Picture this - My Visual Life .2

Other than a wee trip to the mountains for a night, I haven't been doing much with my time but I figured I would post some pictures, if not to encourage myself to document and be more adventurous.
So as slight as it may be, this is what mine eyes hath seen:


Went for lunch at the best little restaurant in town with Lady Love whom I get to spend more time with now that she's free of schooling for a while. Good food, good conversation, good times.



Lady Love with her gorgeous luscious eyes enjoying an eggplant po'boy. Ain't she a doll?



This seems to be the activities of the majority of my nights as of lately. The cat seems to enjoy it.




My Man and I in the shadow of the mountains and the light of the morning sun. He somehow convinced me we were just going to Calgary to dick around in the mall for a day trip. How I didn't catch on, I have no idea.


Some wildlife we saw on the way. There was also a Semi V.S. Moose fight in front of us on the road there. Sure, it would've broken my heart, but you don't get to see that kind of thing every day.


The hotel we stayed at had an assortment of wildlife growing from the walls. We were reminded a few times of how "Beauty and the Beast" it was. We even had the pleasure of hearing singing in the streets!

Its funny, I was sick for a bit and couldn't go to any classes in that time. I also figured that not meditating would be a good idea as well and have been slacking with that for the past while. As much as I would love to say that it was a bad idea, I'm kind of thanking myself for taking that break. Granted, it's hard to get back into it but it's nice to see how drastically those two things change your life.

As shown above, I've been given the book "The Power of Now" By Eckhart Tolle. I've read it once before a couple years back and it changed my life then so I am hoping for it to evoke some more radical movements in my life this time around as well. I plan on referencing it from time to time and maybe even working through some of my thoughts about it on here. Hopefully it causes some shifts in thoughts.

Until then, I leave with the quote:

"Watch the thinker, you are not your thoughts"

M.


Saturday, October 22, 2011

Catch the Bullet




When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
And dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly


And dreams of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise


It's good to get away for a bit. But it's even better to make the choices that are needed in your life to be happy on a consistent basis.

I need to make changes. I need to shed a lot of fears and press forwards with life.

Now is as good of a time as any.

M.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Come and Go


Stand-by for the kaleidascope skies.
Reflecting in her radical eyes.
Boy tries what the girl denies,
After a rainstorm,
A rainbows the prize.

The appeture in my lense is focusing. My depth of field is shifting. The view I once had has now blurred and another, different, daunting and refreshing outlook is appearing before me. Currently, I am too overwhelmed to put enjoyment into this change. All I seem to be looking for is comfort. And yet, I still strive to find the focal points in this new landscape. I push further for more and more change while being held down by the coat tails by the weight of stability.

Is it better to flourish and stumble forwards in expansion and quest for bigger, wider, deeper knowledge? Or is it better to dampen the expansion only slightly, maybe just in a different way, to stablize and root oneself? I know my life will affect and impact the world around me no matter what I choose. I know my life will leave a story. As to what story, I am befuddled. Legitimately feeling torn is the worst and best feeling. I know the choice I make will be the "better" one no matter what. But to actually make a choice is daunting.

If you haven't already guessed, or have even spent all of 5 minutes with me, you'll know I don't decide well. I love being the leaf on the water, going whichever way the wind takes and allowing for others to decide my circumstances. It get's me into trouble occasionally. It tends to take away from my life force from time to time. There is a delicate balance between standing within yourself and allowing life to happen. I stand, teetering, wavering in the breeze, in that balance quite often. It's an odd place to hold your life, I know.

I have been catching my thoughts lately. The ones that have been standing out are the ones where I am dreaming of packing up everything I own, tying off loose ends and hitchhiking to California. Or driving up north and living in a cabin for the winter in solace.

Looping back to my first subject; Fantasy or reality? Stability or freedom? As much as I would genuinely like to send that question out for other people to answer, I know the answer needs to come from me. I need to look to myself, and ask honestly.

Much work to be done..

M.

"And your voice still echos in the hallways of this house"

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Be the Bird, Be the Key

Inspiration. Product to come. For now:


Little bird have you got a key?
Unlock the lock inside of me
Where will you go?
Keep yourself afloat
Feeling old until the wings unfolded
Caught me a long wind
Where will we go?
Keep ourselves afloat

I caught a long wind
A long life wind
I got to know the sky
But it didn’t know me
Got to see the light
And land on top of the sea
And be the bird, be the key
And now the current tells
What the wave withheld
And then the lightning say
Oh where light will lay
Where will you go?
Keep yourself afloat

I caught a long wind
A long life wind
Like a swallow
A night owl
A little chickadee
Sad sparrow
Good morning bird
Good nightingale
I took a deep breath
And caught a long wind

Her cutting clear blue eyes peered out her bedroom window, fingers tight, gripping the sill, toes just touching the vibrant pink shag carpet waiting beneath to catch the souls of her little feet. The screen pressed against her cheek as she craned her head to the left. A slight breeze energizes her blonde hair around her shoulders and face and forces a scrunching of her nose to happen so as not to use the hands so willfully keeping her hung from this white wooden frame to the outside world.
Only mere metal and glass keep her from the height of a great cherry tree in front of her. The chickadees dance around the soft pink blossoms that return the bird movement in their own subtle dance from the moist air gliding by. They give off a fragrance that sticks to the inside of the top of her nose. It's high tones open her airways but still are solid in their depth and bring this little scoundrel to a place of calm. She allows her eyes to take in all the sights in front of her now. The birds have become boring and the land below looks as if colour is oozing up from the center of the earth. The tones are strong and vibrant. The dew soaked ground is aching for sun from the afternoon rays. Those naive blue eyes graze over the yard that she knows as her kingdom. All the paths she has laid out, the half finished house she built and holds resentment for, the forest area she calls home, and this cherry tree brimming with what look like overweight black and white mice with wings and beaks. They flutter in front of her, flaunting their freedom in the brilliant and gentle colour of the flowers that bring her peace in her childlike thoughts of wondering.
Little did she know the crisp blue of her iris would slowly fold, in time, into a ring of dark grey, stark in its contrast, to a deep but soft blue that gives way to flecks of prairie gold and earth green.

I caught a long wind
A long life wind
Like a swallow
A night owl
A little chickadee
Sad sparrow
Good morning bird
Good nightingale
I took a deep breath
And caught a long wind


M.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Listing the Wonderful


Fall is here.

(Now complete with a full playlist of fall listening to guide you through these words from my brain. Click away.)

Change is inevitable. As much as I enjoyed this summer, I am starting to look forward to the slowing of gears that winter brings. I plan on doing a lot of renovating in this head of mine this year. Makes me quite excited to see where I'll be and more so, who I will be once the leaves bud and flowers grow.

Even though I know you should be thankful all the time, I can see why the Thanksgiving holiday is put just before Mother Nature becomes a ruthless bitch. Well, at least she is here in the Frigid North.

But I digress.

It can be hard to see the good that is in front of us sometimes. We have our noses so close to the book, eyes peeled on the magnifying glass to the point of only focusing on the ink of the letters that make up the big picture. With going along that theme, I shall list things of slight and things of importance to me that I am humbled by their greatness.
(Not in any particular order)

A support group of fantastic humans who have flaws and grime that aren't perfect. They mess up, they do dumb things, they fall down repeatedly. But even when they are down and full of the scum that life spits in your face, they manage to not only pull through eventually but support and love me and all the other people in their lives. I have an impeccable safety net of people who mean the world to me and I know will stay in my life path for a long, long time.

Music. Buying some speakers was one of the best purchases I've ever made. I can't live without the beautiful sound of distorted pitch through airwaves that reach my brain and register as bliss. I hold on to the happiness that sound gives me with all of my soul. My thankfulness towards music is never ending and overflowing.

Expression. Specifically through painting and photography. Documentation could be categorized in here as well. My many means of expression are a huge part of what keeps me sane and still slightly crazy. It is the bane of my existence and yet the joy of my life. Blogging, journaling, photography, painting, fashion, exploration of self in general. To be human is to be pulled in many directions and find balance between them all. I will never achieve true balance but I'm content with that. I love the journey too much to stop.

Yoga. Obviously. I have a new relationship with my physicality because of it and I wouldn't change it for the world. It has helped me find things about myself that I enjoy and take pride in. It brings me peace and silence in the midst of my chaotic mind. There is no other career path I'd rather take. I am proud to be a student of yoga and thus, a student of life.

I hope that this might inspire. To sit down and write out things that are solid forms of happiness in life is so important. Who knows, maybe doing the same next year will allow you to see how much you have grown.

Holiday homework: Sit still. Breathe deeply. Document the quality of life. Give thanks.

M.

Monday, October 3, 2011

A Man of Wise Words


“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley

Wisdom verses safety. Protection and comfort, or vulnerability and depth?
To not choose is to choose.