Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Human Organics

"I was born botanical.The soul of an animal deep beneath the layers, I sink my roots no need for mechanical.
I come strictly organical. When I need to feast, I look to the East, that's why I'm never scared of the beast. Even though they try to prey upon me, I'm protected by the one always greater than me. So now I reveal to thee because you wanna see the contour of my mystery, the strength of my arches, the colour of my conscience and the way that I process my diction, some fact, some diction, some mystery, some future fantasy. I'm the trunk that holds the branches, the leaves who do the dances, my flowers romantic my love gigantic. From Africa, transplanted translantic in the heat of the sun, I bring shade for everyone, like the beat on the one.
I'm the skin on the drum.

I keep on living with the fullness of the one
like the heat of the sun or the skin on the drum

I'm fully marinated and now I'm ready for the fire"

Michael Franti

Ever thought of a world without self doubt? Ever thought of how we could potentially just trust that it will all work out in the end? What if we could know that no matter what the situation, we will always be happy. We will always choose goodness and love over anything else. Trusting the deepest part of your core will connect with all other circumstances in the world and bring it all to it's destination. Knowing that the life in you will show you and others so much exaggerated greatness. That light will bloom from every action whenever it sits aligned with your personal truth.

I challenge you to do something that is out of your normal behavior. Do something you've been putting off or maybe even never thought was an option for whatever reason. Don't even think of an excuse, just put your hand right in and muddle with it.

Our lives are only here for a limited time. If we don't fill them as full as possible, there's no point in putting in the energy for a permanently empty shell.

Create. Move. Love. Let go of your pride and see where it takes you.
We're all just specs. Don't let the idea of life get the upper hand. Fuck with it while you have the chance.

Constantly learning,


Monday, April 16, 2012

The Choice is Yours

"What if today was your day? The most amazing day of your life, so far? A day that would change everything for the better. Whats already good would become great. Whats already great would become amazing. And what's already amazing would become the stuff of legends.
And all you had to do to take advantage of the good and wonderful things about to happen to you, was treat folks with a true and eager kindness, think mostly of those things that please you, and go out  into the world, just a bit, where you could meet, mingle, and fall in love?

Today is your day, yet if by its end nothing seems to have happened, it may just mean that tomorrow, for sure, will be the most amazing day of your life."

It is Spring, folks. Time for regrowth, motivation, rays of sunshine and budding opportunities. With the return of the sun and a little bit of heat melting the soil of these Flat Lands, I think of how easy it is to get sucked into a rhythm of negativity. Sometimes a forceful push is helpful. "An object at rest tends to stay at rest, an object in motion tends to stay in motion."
I feel as if we just take advantage of the boosts that we need to push forwards in life, more opportunities will come to us! It can be challenging to learn from those dips in life rather than let them scar you and hold you down. It is something that takes a strong mind.

The quote at the top is from a website that sends an email every morning encouraging you to be persistant in persuing the goals in your life. I feel like taking time out of our mental habits to develop a clear image of what happiness is to us is something that not a lot of people do. It is a block in the day that is leaving a gaping hole in the lives of so many. All it takes is 5 min. to close your eyes, write things down, breathe deeply and use your imagination. We do it when we're kids. Everything has a glow of gold around it in our minds. Now what, we're going to let age and experience on this rock we call Earth take that brilliance of perception away from us?

Don't fall for the misconception that comfort in life is worth giving up that lovely slumberous thought of what your future could be. Live on the edge of life, no matter where you are or what you're doing.

The only one holding you back is you.


Thursday, April 12, 2012

Picture This - My Visual Life Part 6

So things have been busy as usual. I'm teaching quite a bit and am doing my usual running around. These are the events that have been happening in my day to day. Mmmmmmenjoy.

Shad and Veelson can't seem to take their eyes off their HD tv. Kids these days..
Made some Lemon Meringue pie for The Bear on his birthay with Lady Love. I decided when I say my name is Meri, I'll say, "Meri, as in Meringue" Eh? Eh? Clever.

The view on the way home from driving The Bear to work at 6am-ish. The Flat Lands do provide nice sunrises.
Spring is here!!! .. In the flower shops only. *Le Sigh*
Was surprised with this when I got in the car after a class. The middle heart even has a little message on it! So thoughtful.
Hung out with my gangsta bitch. (Eldest Child) Twas a fun afternoon.
The reuniting of the children after about a year. It looks like Pup's snarling but I think she was just breathing out of the side of her mouth. This was the craziest it got, sadly enough. I was hoping for an uprising.
I do have a few things floating around in this head of mine but alas, time is not on my side. Not to mention I've been sleepier than usual lately. That never helps production.But I have been taking a lot of pictures with my Cannon Eos. Maybe I'll post some of those as well. Fun times ahead!
For now I shall carry on my merry way.

Diddly dee potatoes,


Monday, March 26, 2012

Happy Hearted Wanderer

This is for all who might have been feeling dull in the last few months. For the brains in the skulls of the people who have not yet felt the spring warmth that is trying desperately to remind them of the explorations to be had, the adventures to be taken on and the Neverlands that are in dire need of fumbling upon. A reminder, if you will, that this chill that is quite slowly fading, is not all that is out there as of right now.
The mist is slowly rising here in the Northern Flatland. It was thick as cooled cream this morning. I take so much joy in how gorgeous and yet dangerous something like water molecules in the air can be. I am so thrilled by the softness it creates but yet by the fact that you are at a high risk when your visual ability is so restricted with no ability to really change the setting or even help the situation all that much.
It reminds me of the Valley and pulls so hard on my heart as my family was also recently here from said Valley Homeland. I miss it dearly. The water content within a landscape changes everything. My body yearns to be hydrated by just the air itself. My skin is cracked and flaked in spite of the longevity of this stay in the Flatland. But as much as I am itching to leave, I think my mind is just taking the first sanctuary I know and making it my dreamland.
Whereas, if I were just to up and travel, I'm sure that would do just fine.
I love the idea of being able to take half a day to pack up all I have, shove it in my car, and drive to wherever. Or maybe, put all I own in a storage unit and fly off to some far off land. I am a little saddened by the fact that I settled here in the Flatland for so long rather than continuing my momentum and pushing onwards. I find myself losing that longing to be worldly and cultured the more that I settle in and plant roots.
I know our plan for travel is very much laid out and scheduled, but the impatience is still there and so strong. Maybe it's just winter fever as well. The cold months can be so long and draining, it really takes a chunk out of ones spirit.
Something that keeps me going though, is the pleasure I take out of little things. Like writing letters, drawing pictures, putting curious things in curiouser places, and so forth. A pass time I have previously indulged in is taking an old paperback novel and drawing in ballpoint on many random pages. Perhaps even cutting some out and splicing others in. Once I am satisfied with my work and have left enough room for others, I pass it on or leave it in a public place. I would love to track them but that isn't the important part.
I think the solution to my unsettled mindset is just to reconnect with that side of my mind. What with the union and uprooting of my belongings as of lately, I've not been nudging my creative side very much. Until I am ready in all ways to continue my wandering, I shall raise my clenched fist in the name of all things longing to be connected with far off places and press on in my strange and colourfully bumbling ways.
Maybe this is just my own reminder. Perhaps this is purely something to tell myself that I am only as stuck as I allow myself to be. But you might be able to take this as your own little finger tie and change your rhythm. Ask yourself, honestly, if there is something that you are doing in life that is taking away from what is important. Don't be afraid of your answer, for it will only bring you more happiness once you've gotten it all sorted out. Find the hurdle, remove the hurdle, continue forward in your lovely meandering pathways to contentment. I'll do the same. Together we can take the problems that become so lumbering and tiresome and reveal them to be the small feathers in the wind that they are. Lets take our troubles and tribulations to the river and wash them away so to recycle the bad into the good and bring forth a clean slate of Spring and bloom.
Creative creatures unite.


All music dedicated to the soothing of the souls of The Wee One and Lady Love. May you rest well and tumble forwards to the acoustic sounds of the world.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Picture This - My Visual Life Part 5

The view from the kitchen in the evening time.
Yarn is now a constant part of my unconscious dream state. Lady Love has taught me to crochet. Oh dear.
Kitten Loves her new windows. Much happier in this home, me thinks.
BadyLug infestation. Is quite entertaining when living with three cats.

Teaching much more leads to more sunning naps. Yoga studio approved.
Many thoughts going through this brain of fluff. Not nearly enough time to sort through and write them down. May or may not be lost forever. Who knows. Doesn't help that I am now full of mucus and boogers (which equals being full of Buckley's and Bentasil) meaning creativity is quite lost.
Please send wishes of bettering and wellness.. or chocolate. That always makes things work properly.


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Stopwatch Pause

Ever taken a nap and woken up at a point in the day
where the sun may be just covered by clouds so that it looks like it could easily be dusk or dawn? For a second, there's a moment of disbelief that washes over you when you realize you could have potentially slept anywhere between 12 to 24 hours, depending on when you actually fell asleep. When this happens, I usually rush for my nearest electronic device to see what time and day it is. Now, checking what time it is, isn't too big of a deal. There are many situations I find myself in where I've lost track of time. It's when you have no idea of the date that really jars your mind.
It's a little funny how lost we become when that invisible road isn't laid out in front of us.
I was teaching a class and didn't have my phone on me. For some reason I figured that my Ipod didn't have a clock on it. I got 5 or so poses in when I had this thought and started to panic. Not wanting to break the flow of the class to ask if anyone could lend me a time device, I (somehow) figured I'd wing it and hope it turned out ok. That lasted all of 2 min. before I started to panic. My whole rhythm was thrown off and I started to rush a bit through the poses.
First of all, why I figured there was no means of telling time on an Ipod is unknown to me even now. Eventually I did discover the clock, thankfully. Secondly, why I thought I had any reason to panic is also a mystery. It is merely time, an illusion based on where the sun is during our "day to day" lives.
I understand that people want to feel as if we mean something. We want to feel as if we are fulfilling a purpose in existing. Which, in some ways we do. We affect the world and beyond just as much as it affects us.

On my way home from teacher training, I was seated next to a man. We got to talking and he confessed that he was not the best flyer in the world. At that point, I had just been doing countless amounts of yoga every day, meditating religiously, and was eating mostly organic, home made, fresh food. Needless to say, I was feeling at peace. Somehow, the most nervous man on the plane was seated next to the girl who would have been floating if she'd sung one more mantra. I thought back to what my Mum (a nurse) would do when she was doing someone's I.V. She would distract them with having them tell her stories. Pets, family, work, interests, whatever got their minds off of the needle being shoved into them. Using her fine tactic, we talked about his dogs, yoga, and just life in general.
It worked for the most part until we hit some turbulence as we were going over the mountains. There were no clouds bu the wind was apparently quite strong and was jostling us around a bit.
I'm enjoying myself. I'm drunk with acceptance and ready to take on anything be it plane crash or a little wind.
As I'm calmly talking him out of his panic attack, I look out the window for a glimpse at the pristine mountain scape below. As I do, the plan drops. Not nose first, of course, but straight down. Everyone feels the gravity change as our weight gets pulled up, hips pressing against the seat belt and arms hovering just slightly for all of 2 seconds. We regain normality once again and I think to myself. I just plummeted in a plane over top of mountains, thousands of feet in the air. I could have died in the blink of an eye. It could have all been over, just like that.

I am so small.

As much as we would like to think we are the center of everything, we also need to understand that we are despensable. Very much so. It takes very little to be able to wipe out a human life. Life in itself is fragile. Yet we cling to things like time and materials to try and shape our lives into a very detailed illusion.

My challenge to myself and the people around me is to pause, the next time you see or hear a clock. Think. Every time that little line moves, a moment of your life has passed. The "future" hasn't come yet and never will. The "past" no longer exists except for the imprint it has left in your mind. Every time that hand, attached to a gear, powered by a battery, moves a little more, your life is happening. You are the only thing that matters right at that second and yet, you matter very little at all. Enjoy the vast scape of opposites that are pulling at you and take advantage of each ticktock you hear. What are you doing with those seconds? Where is your mind in this moment?
Maybe you'd like to take that challenge and run with it. Maybe you care to push it a bit further. If so, take even just 5 min (also the time it takes for 2 commercial breaks) and be in the moment. Don't allow your mind to wander from past to future and back again. Observe what is happening now. Allow yourself to be fully aware of this current state.
See what happens.


*All yoga classes and frightened men mentioned turned out just fine.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

A Story

If you don't know me, I live in a fantasy world. It is a whole universe, really, so it is quite diverse. But my favorite part is the forest. There are many of them, all with different names and shapes. The one I care to talk of today is the one I've been living in for the past year or so. I've been looking for a change but I've been quite pleasantly lost and have not yet found a map. The woodland creatures keep telling me there is none and I must experience life to find my way around. I would like to think I've taken their advice to heart and done just that but, from time to time, it did bother me that I had still not come across any different terrain.
Until one day, some time ago, there was a call heard throughout the trees. A meek and sad call, it was. It cried for help so pleadingly that I answered softly.
Turns out, a Bear dressed quite handsomely as a Lumberjack was in a daze and required my assistance. He had lost what he thought was his love and wanted to find that connection again. Little did he know, what he knew as love was not as such. At the time, I didn't question it, but feeling sorry for the poor thing, I agreed to put in my worth. I was to teach him and his desired the ways of connection through movement and mind. When the time came to bring the lessons to them, she had dashed off, fearing many things and not wanting to take any risks.
He shrugged and with a drained heart, asked if I would perhaps still pass on my knowledge to him. I agreed, of course, for I believe in this knowledge with my whole heart and know it will benefit anyone who chooses to open to it.
So I come to his cabin to practice with him. We talk for a while and finally decide to get to work when we look at the time and realize hours have passed! After a little training, we part ways.
The next day he sends a squirrel to bring me the words "Either we are to have the best of friendship immediately, or we are to be united by God. in holy matrimony" I laugh, thinking back to how great his sense of humor was in our lengthy conversation. I thought of how able he was to get under my lily white skin with his challenges and honesty. How he exercised his capability to pull from me all emotions ranging between horribly uncomfortable to blissfully happy. He had shown me a whole new gradient of life.
From then on, I go to his abode upon a regular basis to have many an enthralling conversation with him. Despite taking an enormous interest in this warm hearted Bear, I exercise my rebellious side and tell him to find love in other places. Win back the object of his previous desire, find happiness in the Exotic Witch of Blonde and Ink, go and seek what you are looking for. He proposes that he wait for someone special but I push back with my iron will to test his character.
In the meantime, I prance along, biding my time with the company of friends. new and old. Not wanting to settle or land in one place for too long, I leave my trail of sparkles wherever I go, all the while keeping my sights on this strapping Bear. Until eventually my eyes start to become clear and he sees the longing that hides behind them. He becomes devious with his actions and words, mapping out an outcome with every moment. His love for this light hearted fairy becomes overwhelmingly large for his Bear chest, too much to contain, even. I daintily avoid the strength of his charm while ever tempting him to push the envelope more and more. Until eventually, with a soft will, he cools the fire of my past, lays my heart down on a bed of rainbows and promises comfort and adventure.
The Wizard of Education  then beccons him to live yonder for a time. I travel between lands to be able to keep him in my ever changing, quickly growing life. We struggle, we laugh, we play, until it comes to an end and we rejoice.
As we prepare for another change in scenery, he asks once again for our lives to become one and I agree upon the allowance of me having my way. I pick the ever fleeting day from the year of Leap to be united. And so it begins, the curious ways of the Bear and the Fairy, tumbling wildly through the forest. Turns out, the silly old Bear had the map the whole time. He just needed me to be able to understand it. Though we are so different and might not be in agreeance constantly, we are choosing to love. And we are now to travel the lands together, facing dragons and dungeons, mountains and sunrises, until as forever comes to an end. With love from our woodland friends and support from our families of Fairies and Bears, we venture off into the unique words of our combined wonderlands where we shine light and laughter on every creature we come across.

And they lived whimsically ever after.


Friday, February 17, 2012

Apple Disection

On The Bound by Fiona Apple, gently pulled apart as a tender serving of honesty that sometimes has a bit of cajaun spice soaked through it. It's been aged through the thought process of years of experience in my life and smoked with the woody residue of past moments as one living organism on this carbon grown rock we have seemed to have taken fondly to.

All my life is on me now, hail the pages turning
 - Our whole lives depend on every moment. Every single little thought we have, whether as small as a reminder to grab the keys off the coffee table before locking the door or as big as what education to get/what career to follow. It is all happening now. There is actually no such thing as putting life on hold, for it is always moving no matter how much you try to control it.

And the future's on the bound, hell don't know my fury
  - We seem to think that the future is way in front of us. For me at least, when someone says "the future" I think of waaay down the timeline of my life into certain predictions I'm making based on my past choices and whether I found them pleasureable or perhaps, helpful to what I find attractive. Yet there is an opposite side to every person. We all feel things such as anger and sometimes, eventually, bitterness. We often don't like to think about it but everyone has a breaking point. Some of them are further away than others whether due to circumstance or methods of improvement.

You're all I need, you're all I need, you're all I need
You're all I need, you're all I need, you're all I need
You're all I need - and maybe some faith would do me good

 - People are strange. I don't know if I will ever know why we like to torture ourselves, in turn, making life harder for anyone and everyone around us, to the point of even just people we come in contact with. We usually have a bit of this need to please others and not listen to what is actually best for us, causing us to push against something good for the ability to achieve happiness in a projection of someone elses idea of "true". Maybe instead of pushing for understanding and control, a little confidence in the abilities one possesses, would actually work out.

I don't know what I'm doing, don't know, should I change my mind? I can't decide. There's too many variations to consider.
 - When you put your mind in that perspective of every moment being a choice of where on the actual Earth you will be (down the line), what type of person these choices will bring you up to be, the actual story of your journey, and why you ended up taking those specific steps, the whole idea of "life" can get very overwhelming.

Nothing I do, don't do, nothing but bring me more to do. It's true, I do imbue my blue unto myself,
I make it bitter.

 - All those decisions you do end up making are going to do nothing more than bring you more choices to make due to the lack of knowledge that we have for what lays ahead. Some people may be able to gauge what is often done in comparison to the past but they have just as little of an actual prediction as anyone else. We're all on the same page with that one. Maybe it's the lack of that knowledge that makes someone get down on them self. Almost as if we expect to be able to have that ability and feel as if we've failed when it doesn't turn out in parallel with our prediction. Why we feel it is acceptable to beat anyone up about it (including ourselves) is beyond my understanding. How can we actually blame time on anyone? It's no wonder we reach out to whatever is around us. (People and objects of substance or action)

Baby, lay your head on my lap one more time, tell me you belong to me
 - I can't tell you where, but I've heard the sentence (almost a phrase) "people are social creatures" quite a bit. To the point of it being an obvious fact in my head. But when I think of how that is true and verbalize facts behind it, I see that as a person, a friend, a group, a community, a society, a civilization, we exude that theory repeatedly. Because of our diversity, there are always exceptions (with everything, not just this). But for the most part I can't think of a single person that I know of, that would rather be fully alone for the rest of their lives than put up with the majority of people purely for the sake of human interaction. We will put ourselves through hell and back, just to get a taste of belonging and connection. To have that sense of "right" with someone else (be it a lie or otherwise).

Baby say that it's all gonna be alright, I believe that it isn't.
 - Blame it on ego or what have you, but people are stubborn, misinformed, and stubbornly misinformed. We love to rebel and push against what may or may not be there. We flail and spit at the void in our views (for nothing is anything but a perspective) with an expectation that if we keep ourselves clinging, we'll eventually gather strength, thinking, under the surface, "I can keep this going, I know I can." Someone will quite often take any encouragement they can to keep that ball moving even though, we know what is really best for us. If we took the time to stop distracting ourselves from confusion with more confusion, whatever we look for (question or answer) will always be right in front of our face, just waiting for our eyes to actually notice it.

Don't agree? Feel the need to go into further detail? Why not express your differences and reciprocity with other personalities? How can we be so afraid of being "wrong" when no one 100% knows exactly, to the last and tiniest detail, what wrong is?


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Results May Vary

I'm sure most people have heard this before. My Mum would tell me to do something, usually chores related, and I, being the feisty little child I had the tendency of being, would look her dead in the eyes and ask, "Why?"
Her usual response was to say "Because I told you to!" As she threw her hands up in the air, I'm sure growing overly tired of having this small minded being question every little thing she presents to the situation. (Sorry Mum) Needless to say, if you know me at all, I've not changed much. I still push the limits of the facts that are put in front of me. I still challenge whatever I am able to. Much to some peoples dismay..

I've been realizing the value of kindness lately. When I close my eyes and see this mental image of what that word gives me, I see a bunch of people in a circle, holding hands and being friendly with each other. That is just the still picture. If I look at the word "kindness" as an action, it takes on a whole different meaning. Just like music, art, yoga, and love, community is an action. You can choose to include it in every choice that is made during ones day.
Take art for example. I could do this more, but I do try and include it into every part of my day. Whether that is just sketching on napkins at a restaurant, forcing myself to paint every day, or just drawing hearts in the dust at someone's house. Creating images can be done at any time, any place. It's about putting the effort forth to make it happen with whatever material that may be available.
Love is a little harder to do this with sometimes. As humans, we tend to think the world revolves around us as a singular person. "My world is more important than yours, my problems are more substantial, my ideas are better, brighter, bigger. I'm right. You're wrong" We might not want to admit it but we all allow it to happen. Now the action of love is to be able to break through that wall, see the other persons perspective as best you can, then change your own mind, perspective, or even go against your best logic. That's what is hardest for me. Going against logic for the sake of trust, faith, or love. Seems like the dumbest thing to do. But yet, if we would bring a little bit of that empty minded, over the rainbow, cheese ball romance into our lives every once in a while, maybe our relationships would have a bit more forgiveness.
confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability.
belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.
It goes against everything within me. I want tangible, touchable, viewable, truth. I want my senses to be able to tell me, "Yes, this exists. You may believe it." To be able to trust, have faith, in something, someone, is quite hard for me.
Mum made a good point, as blunt as it was. Because I said so is just as much of a reason as the reason she could have explained. Because really, who is to say that it's even believable. The point is, do you want to do it to fight it, for results, or because you want to do it.
I see the point of community as doing something for the sake of doing it. For the sake of someone other than yourself. And though there is no such thing as selflessness because the reason anyone does anything is for ones own happiness. "It makes me happy that you're happy." But to do something for the sake of the action itself is quite the feat. There is no failure! No disappointment. Once you've completed the action, the result is obsolete. If something good does come of it, so be it! If not, you weren't expecting anything anyway.

It has become something I want to include into my daily choices. Do something for the sake of doing it. For the sake of someone else outside of myself. Actions such as those are sure to come back to a person in reward.
But who cares?

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Unidentifiable Space

Ever look through a lens of a train light? Those things are magnified so much that you could put a little light behind it and it would look like the heavens are opening in front of you. They take normal looking and mutilate it into an unidentifiable mash of colour.
I've been trying to explore my Yin practice more lately but I've been realizing how much fear is held in our bodies. There are so many poses where I'll be in it for a matter of breaths and suddenly get this great urge to get out of it and even stop doing my daily practice all together. It becomes so important to me to stop stretching and breathing that I feel like if I don't, the world will end and I'll implode into a puff of dust. My mind is putting this lens on my situation, taking it and expanding it so deeply that I can no longer see it for what it is. I'm not processing it as muscles expanding, mind being oxygenated, ligaments being stressed, ect. I'm seeing it as an emotional wreckage that needs to be avoided. All I'm doing is bringing more air into the tissue of my body and yet it's this turmoil of stress and anger.
I find that people do this in their daily lives as well. We get so wrapped up in our emotions, possessions, situations, abilities and capacities that we don't see it from an outside perspective. Which is why friends or counselors are always a good idea. People who aren't afraid to tell you the truth for your own betterment. Which will hopefully teach us to do it for ourselves and not depend on the people around us. Eventually, we can watch our own thoughts, our own mind processes and habits and see ourselves for what we are.
Just humans. In 93 billion light years of space.


Fall to sleep
Fall to sleep
It's you I long to keep
This room will never stay still for you and me