Mind Rewrite

It is a challenge. A challenge, I tell you. Sure, knowing that the sun is behind the overcast umbrella above you is obvious. But knowing that the same energy, the same ball of fire, the "prana", the life force, be all and end all, is within you isn't easy.
I'll tell you what is easy. Swimming in thought. Allowing everything to muddle up in the mind and well over like the tantrum tears of a three year old. Swallowing that thought, that mindset of "I am my thoughts" and seeing that nugget of chocolatey goodness beyond, somehow proves to be one of the most difficult things I've ever done.
As the lovely Lauryn Hill says
"These buildings could drift out to sea
Some natural catastrophe
Still there's no place I'd rather be
Cos nothin' even matters to me"
Why do we allow thoughts to have such control? What is so great about over analyzing everything to the nth degree?

I had a lovely conversation with a new friend the other day. A young thing of simplistic wisdom. They were talking about how short of time we have on this earth. How we have so many options and only a pinch of ability to utilize them all. And yet we choose to numb, distort, distract and divert from the essence of living. From things that are a part of our essential nature. We stray from love for the sake of fear. We push happiness to the side for the growth of greed. We put ourselves in situations of blaming others for things that we can so easily take responsibility for.

My question is, "why?" If you have hung out with me for more than an hour, you'll know I ask that question a lot. I'm learning to be more specific so I ask, why distract from goodness?
What are your distortions? What do you use as a crutch for your choices? Who do you blame for your emotional states?
Everyone does it, so why not dig a little deeper?

M.

P.S.
I know the pictures have very little to do with the words but I found them to be interesting visuals, for what it's worth.

Where It Comes From

So there is a lot going on in this brain of fluff. I'm not only reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle but The 5th Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz which was given to me by a lovely lady I know from the coffee shop I used to work at and go to regularly. She saw the Power of Now on the table beside me and asked me if I'd read the 5th Agreement. Then insisted on buying it for me. Karmic acts like that really make me satisfied.
Anyway, these are the visuals that are setting of sparks in my head. I've been painting quite a bit and due to a good friend, if not a Mentor of mine, saying that I have to have 2 finished paintings to show by Monday. It's nice to have a bit of structure with painting other than the flexible goals that I put in myself. When I finish them I'll post some pictures. Hopefully I'll put them up before the end of January.In the meantime, here are some creative inspirations that are pushing me forwards.

Doodles of the Creative

Lumps of Art Gold

Words to Love By (Personal friend and favorite)

Inventing Craftiness

Mag That Brings Out the Best

The only real photo opportunity I've experienced is at the pool with The Boys I babysit from time to time. That was interesting. Being a lady of my early 20's with two boys of the ages of 6 and 8. I must have looked like I was doing pretty good for a Mother in my 30's. I admittedly got some strange looks while wrestling around with them.

I have also been getting back into Fiona Apple as of recently. I had forgotten how much I relate to her moodiness and how well her voice falls on my ears.
Her top song in my opinion.
I hope to some day have an ability that merely shadows hers. Her talent in composition and lyricism is impeccable.

I wish I could post some awesome photos on here but I really haven't been doing much picture taking. At some point, I'd like to buy a couple more rolls of film and fill up the Pentax I've got sitting on my shelf. It's just calling my name and now I've missed the most gorgeous time of year! Oh well, there's always beauty to capture.
I SHOULD have taken more Halloween pictures but apparently my head is elsewhere. I have some on my little point and shoot but they're not exactly quality.
All I have to show for my creative adventures as of late is the coil notebook that I stuck with clippings from the blue canvas mag I have (link posted above) which I think turned out quite well. I need to make a bit harder of a backing for it because the glue has curled the cardboard, but it gives it a bit of character.
I'm using the notebook to write out songs and doodles. It's quite nice to have the ability to express so freely now. I feel almost as if there has been a blockage that has been broken and now I'm flowing freely.
Now to get back on the yoga train. Dear oh dear.

I'm sure at some point I will be posting my opinion of how the books are affecting my life. Until then;

Ta for now,

M.

Come and Go

Stand-by for the kaleidascope skies.
Reflecting in her radical eyes.
Boy tries what the girl denies,
After a rainstorm,
A rainbows the prize.

The appeture in my lense is focusing. My depth of field is shifting. The view I once had has now blurred and another, different, daunting and refreshing outlook is appearing before me. Currently, I am too overwhelmed to put enjoyment into this change. All I seem to be looking for is comfort. And yet, I still strive to find the focal points in this new landscape. I push further for more and more change while being held down by the coat tails by the weight of stability.

Is it better to flourish and stumble forwards in expansion and quest for bigger, wider, deeper knowledge? Or is it better to dampen the expansion only slightly, maybe just in a different way, to stablize and root oneself? I know my life will affect and impact the world around me no matter what I choose. I know my life will leave a story. As to what story, I am befuddled. Legitimately feeling torn is the worst and best feeling. I know the choice I make will be the "better" one no matter what. But to actually make a choice is daunting.

If you haven't already guessed, or have even spent all of 5 minutes with me, you'll know I don't decide well. I love being the leaf on the water, going whichever way the wind takes and allowing for others to decide my circumstances. It get's me into trouble occasionally. It tends to take away from my life force from time to time. There is a delicate balance between standing within yourself and allowing life to happen. I stand, teetering, wavering in the breeze, in that balance quite often. It's an odd place to hold your life, I know.

I have been catching my thoughts lately. The ones that have been standing out are the ones where I am dreaming of packing up everything I own, tying off loose ends and hitchhiking to California. Or driving up north and living in a cabin for the winter in solace.

Looping back to my first subject; Fantasy or reality? Stability or freedom? As much as I would genuinely like to send that question out for other people to answer, I know the answer needs to come from me. I need to look to myself, and ask honestly.

Much work to be done..

M.

"And your voice still echos in the hallways of this house"

Be the Bird, Be the Key

Inspiration. Product to come. For now:


Little bird have you got a key?
Unlock the lock inside of me
Where will you go?
Keep yourself afloat
Feeling old until the wings unfolded
Caught me a long wind
Where will we go?
Keep ourselves afloat

I caught a long wind
A long life wind
I got to know the sky
But it didn’t know me
Got to see the light
And land on top of the sea
And be the bird, be the key
And now the current tells
What the wave withheld
And then the lightning say
Oh where light will lay
Where will you go?
Keep yourself afloat

I caught a long wind
A long life wind
Like a swallow
A night owl
A little chickadee
Sad sparrow
Good morning bird
Good nightingale
I took a deep breath
And caught a long wind

Her cutting clear blue eyes peered out her bedroom window, fingers tight, gripping the sill, toes just touching the vibrant pink shag carpet waiting beneath to catch the souls of her little feet. The screen pressed against her cheek as she craned her head to the left. A slight breeze energizes her blonde hair around her shoulders and face and forces a scrunching of her nose to happen so as not to use the hands so willfully keeping her hung from this white wooden frame to the outside world.
Only mere metal and glass keep her from the height of a great cherry tree in front of her. The chickadees dance around the soft pink blossoms that return the bird movement in their own subtle dance from the moist air gliding by. They give off a fragrance that sticks to the inside of the top of her nose. It's high tones open her airways but still are solid in their depth and bring this little scoundrel to a place of calm. She allows her eyes to take in all the sights in front of her now. The birds have become boring and the land below looks as if colour is oozing up from the center of the earth. The tones are strong and vibrant. The dew soaked ground is aching for sun from the afternoon rays. Those naive blue eyes graze over the yard that she knows as her kingdom. All the paths she has laid out, the half finished house she built and holds resentment for, the forest area she calls home, and this cherry tree brimming with what look like overweight black and white mice with wings and beaks. They flutter in front of her, flaunting their freedom in the brilliant and gentle colour of the flowers that bring her peace in her childlike thoughts of wondering.
Little did she know the crisp blue of her iris would slowly fold, in time, into a ring of dark grey, stark in its contrast, to a deep but soft blue that gives way to flecks of prairie gold and earth green.

I caught a long wind
A long life wind
Like a swallow
A night owl
A little chickadee
Sad sparrow
Good morning bird
Good nightingale
I took a deep breath
And caught a long wind


M.

Listing the Wonderful

Fall is here.

(Now complete with a full playlist of fall listening to guide you through these words from my brain. Click away.)

Change is inevitable. As much as I enjoyed this summer, I am starting to look forward to the slowing of gears that winter brings. I plan on doing a lot of renovating in this head of mine this year. Makes me quite excited to see where I'll be and more so, who I will be once the leaves bud and flowers grow.

Even though I know you should be thankful all the time, I can see why the Thanksgiving holiday is put just before Mother Nature becomes a ruthless bitch. Well, at least she is here in the Frigid North.

But I digress.

It can be hard to see the good that is in front of us sometimes. We have our noses so close to the book, eyes peeled on the magnifying glass to the point of only focusing on the ink of the letters that make up the big picture. With going along that theme, I shall list things of slight and things of importance to me that I am humbled by their greatness.
(Not in any particular order)

A support group of fantastic humans who have flaws and grime that aren't perfect. They mess up, they do dumb things, they fall down repeatedly. But even when they are down and full of the scum that life spits in your face, they manage to not only pull through eventually but support and love me and all the other people in their lives. I have an impeccable safety net of people who mean the world to me and I know will stay in my life path for a long, long time.

Music. Buying some speakers was one of the best purchases I've ever made. I can't live without the beautiful sound of distorted pitch through airwaves that reach my brain and register as bliss. I hold on to the happiness that sound gives me with all of my soul. My thankfulness towards music is never ending and overflowing.

Expression. Specifically through painting and photography. Documentation could be categorized in here as well. My many means of expression are a huge part of what keeps me sane and still slightly crazy. It is the bane of my existence and yet the joy of my life. Blogging, journaling, photography, painting, fashion, exploration of self in general. To be human is to be pulled in many directions and find balance between them all. I will never achieve true balance but I'm content with that. I love the journey too much to stop.

Yoga. Obviously. I have a new relationship with my physicality because of it and I wouldn't change it for the world. It has helped me find things about myself that I enjoy and take pride in. It brings me peace and silence in the midst of my chaotic mind. There is no other career path I'd rather take. I am proud to be a student of yoga and thus, a student of life.

I hope that this might inspire. To sit down and write out things that are solid forms of happiness in life is so important. Who knows, maybe doing the same next year will allow you to see how much you have grown.

Holiday homework: Sit still. Breathe deeply. Document the quality of life. Give thanks.

M.

This Too

Lady Love once gave a description of life to me. She said something along the lines of "I feel like my life is a bouncy ball and some kid is whipping it at the floor."
Depressing, maybe. Accurate? Definitely. It makes it worse that the picture of innocence and naiveity is what is causing the outbursts of kinetic energy.
My question is, why do we as humans, put our noses so close to the paper? Why do we have to make everything magnified to the point of catastrophic disaster over what is really, quite small matters of thought process?
Passion helps settle these thoughts. Passion for art, for yoga, music, love, friends, fulfillment.

Curiosity for life brings new light to bleak situations.

I was told recently that I take things too seriously. Quite a true statement in this context. There are certain moments where I over analyze the smallest of situation and it takes off from there. There are so many sayings that are applicable to this type of situation.
"This too shall pass" Is one that comes to mind. To keep in mind the inevitability of time is so important. The good, the bad, the emotional, the silly, the blissful, will all be gone. What do we choose to hold on to?

I read a story in a fantastic book about how there is this camp that help young people with intense feelings of loss and trauma. One of the excersizes is getting the kids to write their secrets on rocks and carry them around with them on a hike. At the end of the hike, they empty their pockets of their secrets and toss them into the creek. The person telling the story said how they were amazed at how emotional some of them got from physically letting go of their burdens . And yet, how some of them chose to keep these secrets with them. Taking them to bed that night and home on the bus the next day. Almost like if they let go of it, they would be letting go of themselves.

Now I know there is a lot of psychological words and names that could explain that but from the way I see it, people don't want to let go of what they see as events or times that make them who they are. If they let it go, there is an openness to them that is massive and unknown. There is a chance for them to become different and unstuck. For some reason, the human brain likes to lean towards being more like a brick wall than an open window. It can be so hard for us to let go of categories and mental lines that we draw for ourselves and allow people, society and life to draw for us.

The worst part about it all is that it takes work to become open. It takes effort to change. But it also takes effort to stay the same. So at least I know that the work is already there, it just needs to be displaced. Even just in little actions. Putting influential statements up on the wall where eyes can view it, making little positive choices in things like eating well or getting up when needed. The small things that form together is what makes life easier to do.

It will all be the same in the end, so why not make what we have worth it right now?

M.

Post Secret. The best way to feel human.

Plant Life

I had the pleasure of going to the farm of a good friend of mine the other day. Lets call him the suiting name of Green Thumb. He has the most marvelous green house and garden I've ever laid eyes on. There is so much produce and foliage in that tented little structure, it's almost overwhelming. (As you can see from the picture) I can't tell you how nice it is to see someone growing all this food for themselves. But yet, not just for themselves either, for every time I go there I am loaded with fresh produce which I later turn into lush, crisp salads and other such delicious foods. He spoils me quite a lot.
Places such as this remind me of a simple fact of life. We are all growing. We are all planting roots wherever we are in life. We leave little seedlings of ourselves in other peoples soil in the effect we have on our surroundings. Our fruit is the product of the germination of ourselves and the acceptance and reception of other people on ourselves. We are always reaching for the light. And when we don't, we wither and weaken. Our prana, our life force starts to shrivel and retreat from anything nourishing around us. This is why it is good to start with the basics of what substances we feed our plant body. What are we absorbing in life to keep us running? Food from gardens grown with love? Or foods from a store grown with quick production in mind? Maybe you don't need to be so specific. What kinds of food are you placing inside your body?

I find a good way of figuring out what is good for you is asking yourself simply that. Is this good for me? Look at the ingredients of whatever you're ingesting and ask yourself, "do I need this sugar to survive?"
There is also the mind aspect of this plant life that we live so well. Who are we allowing to infiltrate our nutritional system? Healthy, steady and well rounded people who accept you and bring you joy in your life? Or tiring, draining and withering people who drain us of our abilities to live brightly? Because of their effect on your life, is the fruit you produce more luscious and vibrant? Are the things you are saying positive and encouraging? Are you a more accepting person because of the people you are in constant contact with?
I truly believe that we are the product of our environment. If we choose to bring people who act as fertlizers into your life, you will grow with more ease and strength. If you see the good in situations, your life will become a more vibrant product of that. Sometimes it is easy to get yourself in a funk of micro thought. Of putting that magnifying glass in front of the situation and focusing in on the smallest of details. It puts everything in a funk and before you know it, you're attracting more along the same vein. Everything in your life starts to relate to this negative state you've allowed to take over you. Just as a plant reaches for the sunlight and follows it throughout the day, so should I. So should we. If we don't reach for the sun, the brightness of life and the sweetness in all situations, what is there for us? What is the point?

Really. What is the point of life, without light? Without sweetness. Without softness. Expansion and rooting. The balance between moving steadily in opposite directions, solidly and extensively.

To be able to take pride in the inner most part of the human core and yet be able to be malleable and have the capability to swell with change and growth is so respectable. The people who achieve this, even for a small amount of time, are happy. Those are the ones I look up to. I can say that honestly, I only know of maybe 3 people that really truly embody this, and I love them for being such an inspiration. But I want to be that person as well. I want to bring this abundance to peoples lives. Sometimes I royally mess things up but in order to become this effulgent person, I need to be able to make room for mistakes and forgive. I need to be able to open myself to the possibility of a vital sparkly life full of love and joy. No one else is going to break the clouds open for you. It is our responsibility to find our own path to brightness.

May your leaves be wide and absorbent, your stalk sturdy and strong and may your roots go deep into the rich and yielding soil you have laid for your life.

That line could easily be from the 1700's.
I'm ok with that.

M.

Despite A Winters Day

Yeasayer Red Cave

I went out past the willow and the well
caught my breath upon the hill
at the edge of the domain

And I went down
and further down
and when I got up,
I'm at the red cave

And with that sound
as if I had been put under a spell
she led me to her abode
despite a winter's day

Meri's house in the hollow of the
white hazel rapid whirlpool
and the church of hurricane

I'm so blessed to
have spent that time
with my family and the friends
I love with my short life I have met
so many people I deeply care for

I'm so blessed to
have spent that time
with my family and the friends
I love with my short life I have met
so many people I deeply care for

The Wee One (my lovely sister) showed me this song. She says it's because of the description of walking to the cave and the connection to the people in this persons life. Then she realized it said Meri's house. Of course it's Mary's house but I'm a dork so I change it. Makes me feel like it's mine.

I feel as if this is actually the perfect song for me. Maybe just for right now but I do have a deep connection with it. I feel like at some point in my life I will go into hiding in a cabin in a forest and live on my own. I can also see myself doing a hibernation for a period of time, becoming a hermit and then having all my friends and family come and meet me, spend a month together living in harmony and then going back to life and society feeling refreshed and brimming with love and compassion for the world.

I want to be able to do what she is doing in the song. Lead people to a place of genuine spirit and connection. I'm glad I have a fighting spirit, I am. But it hurts me. It brings confrontation and a discomfort in people. I try so hard to be true and simple. Why does that scare people so much? Why does an honest question that brings you deeper into yourself make people so frightened of life? I am just as scared. I am just as fearful and timid. But I accept. At least I want to. Sometimes I don't. But I need to keep trying. As much as people keep pressing me and building up walls to my demeanor and even just my image, I need to keep strong.

So do you.

We are all learning in this life. No one knows what is on the other side. If you claim to know, you just know less. The way I see it, the sooner that is accepted, the easier life gets. But who am I to tell anyone?

As soon as you think you know, you have only reached a door to a whole new view. There is so much more than just this. There always will be. Be strong.

I'm so blessed to
have spent that time
with my family and the friends
I love with my short life I have met
so many people I deeply care for.

M.

Extra love for the music joy.
Because I miss the sunshine already and it's not even gone. But alas, "don't be sad because it's over, be happy it happened" - Seuss

This Is The Life

Oh dear. I have been doing just too much lately and hearing so many kind words spread throughout my life that it's all too much to be putting down while it happens.

I'll start it all off with a quote/theme of my "guru's". My teacher/boss at the studio is this wonderful person as I've mentioned before and she gave this class today that I so enjoyed. It was refreshing because most of the time when I am enjoying a class it's because it has these amazing poses that open me up and strengthen me in ways I wasn't expecting. This class however, was about the earth under the rocks. And, well, the rocks themselves. (Of life that is. Because I of all people would never use a metaphor) Sometimes we allow these huge stresses to bear down on us and weight our life. It happens. No one can stop it and there's really no point. The best we can do is deal with it with elegance, grace and kindness.
But what we often don't see is the life under these weights atop us. When you pick up a rock in the forest, you will most likely find a whole suburban system of life and living creatures. It's a network of growth and fertility. The earth is moist and mellow, perfect for living comfortably in and being steady but there is things like moss and bugs and worms all living and passing time above and within it.
What I feel we need to see is the potential these stresses give us. We are given these laden drops in the ebb and flows and we can choose to see the ability it gives us to re ground and re group or we can wallow in it and become stagnant and drained.
As a kid, I loved picking up rocks and seeing all that was below it. It is the smaller version of our lives. Just as we are the smaller version of what is going on around us and outside of us. It keeps growing in both directions and the fact that we are a part of the masterpiece that is this life, is refreshing and invigorating.

NOW to give you a bit of a map of the life I've been leading.
Oh fun times.

Went to The Fringe, enjoyed the drunken business of Whyte Ave on a Saturday evening, reveled in the summer night warmth, and had a drink or two with quite the best of company.





Hung out with the Canine for a while in the front yard the other day. I love and appreciate her so much. She's probably the most amazing dog I've ever met and I'm so glad she is the way she is. Softest part of my heart belongs to her.






Been spending a lot of time with Lowly and Family. They have been quite good to me and I love them all dearly. Such a warm and genuine family. The only people I love to be made fun of by.


Said goodbye to a friend with boardgames, drinks and home made delicious cookies. I so appreciate the people in my life. They are so full of life... and penis jokes.



And watched the sun set last night before spending some quality time with My Yogi. Days like these you would love to be stuck in and yet want to continue forever.

I've been really keeping up on yoga as of lately and just went for a workout today for the first time in a while! I so enjoy feeling good like this. I think I may just be preparing myself for a seasonal change but I really do love the place I'm in right now. As stressful as things get and as many sucker punches to the balls I seem to be getting as of lately, I do enjoy this light that seems to be begging to be let out in its entirety. And it will be.

You'll see.

M.

A New Vein in Time

Entertain your eardrums with this as your eyeballs do all the work.

At the studio that I teach at, we do this "inspirational rocks" thing. Basically (as cheeseball as it sounds) there are a bunch of polished rocks in a basket up at the front of the room and in Savasana the teacher bring the basket to each person, allowing them to choose the rock that they need. On it is an inspirational saying. (Connect with Nature, Relax, Breathe in Breathe Out, for example) Sometimes it's really just a rock to me. Sometimes I feel very little from whatsoever.

Let me skip a beat for a second and tell you how this is semi in relation to my blip of existence. As I've mentioned before in previous blogs, there is a lot of change going on in my life. And I think I either knew or manifested it a long time ago because I had this sort of saying of "2011 holds some big changes" and I said it long before I even knew what the plan was for this year. Well, part of this plan is moving back to the homeland. Western forests and ocean views is on this girls path. As excited as I am, there is a whole new world opening up for me. I'm going back at a completely different age and stage of life in general. As I said to Champ today, my mind is opening and growing at a rapid rate and I am just learning to accept and allow it all to happen. So this is creating, as you might have guessed, quite a bit of anxiety in my thought process.

Now it circles back. My rock the other day said simply "No Fear"

Made me realize something along a bit of a different vein.

I taught a class after that whole rock experience about the movement of time and how it applies to our yogic practice. I was saying how every amount of time can be broken into the smallest of moments and snaps of life. The world turns, millions of people eat their cereal while millions are making love. Nature lives and dies, we are just a small pin point in the scheme of things. And we will never be this young ever again! We will never be this person with these ideals with these exact memories or lack there of.

Which maps me right back to, no fear.

Why? Why bother having fear in our lives? I challenge anyone to bring me a point of why fear is a necessity in every day living.

Now, I'm not an extremest. Sure, in a perfect world, peace love and happiness could prevail. We could all hold hands and live a merry little life in our grande hobbit holes and farms of fresh nurturing goodness for the souls of everyone. In a perfect world, we could live sans-fear. But it's not perfect. So what?

So we bring a bit of easiness into our choices. We allow simplicity into the little thoughts going through our heads. Everyone has them. The Rolodex of categories with sub categories A-Z spinning around. Or maybe a boardroom of different sides of you all arguing different points. Whatever your visual, can it be simplified? Can it be relieved of weight? Can it be fearless?

My question to myself through all the haze and obstruction is, who will I allow myself to be?

M.



Click line below for loves sake.

Long awaited bliss..

Incomplete .1

Something that I've been chewing through lately is the concept of being accepting in the uncomfortable situations of life.

Here's how my thought process goes.

I want to always be growing, learning, expanding. Even when I do let my mind rest and just numb out, I'm still doing it for the reason of growth. I give myself breaks to be able to continue to grow more thoroughly. For the most part lately, it's all been quite a controlled growing period. Very little chaos was had.

A metaphor The Man used last night that I've had a visual of for a while now is, I feel as if I've been thrown into a field and not given a direction but told to find the path that best suits me. Not only that, but I don't know who I am. So I am to find a personalized path for someone I don't know. I have 100% options. How is one supposed to narrow it down from that?

There is a discomfort. An unknown aspect of life that is overwhelming. And yet, I don't want to get back into a comfortable haze. Where is the medium? Where is the balance?

I guess, thus is life. Finding the balance in all situations. Sometimes I feel as if I regress and my maturity is out the window. (Ok, I feel like that a lot lately..) But sometimes I feel solid and expansive. The quest is to learn how to continue those moments of feeling rooted in yourself and growing to who you want to be, all the while keeping that self love. Discovering who you are and who you're changing into is all part of the excitement.

A good question to ask yourself in these situations (I assume) is, how can I make this happier? Brighter? More fun and adventurous? What can I do to bring a lightness to this situation?

I still haven't quite figured this out yet. I have a feeling this will be an ongoing theme in my life, at least for a while. I'm sure I'll do a .2 on the subject soonish..

Genuine ponderings,

M.

Why In The Night Sky Are The Lights On?

A day of creativity so far has definitely been had. Startedwith some odd inspiration and a groggy blustery morningof sickness and coughing. But once I
went to work, got myself in gear and came home, there was quite a good flow of motivation.
Here are some pictures to show the map of my day:

My lady love came over and we hung out a bit then decided to do some creative actvities while listening to some good tunes.


Started off with making some yummy potato soup from some left over veggies in my fridge. Turned out really good but Lady Love commented on how I end up always cooking with curry. I guess it's just a favorite spice of mine. Turned out good anyway.
Thick but good.

Then we painted a bit. This being her first time doing any sort of abstract, I showed her some tricks of the trade. It's weird to explain your artistic methods to someone who doesn't actually do art. And her colour pallet was totally different from the types of colors I would usually mix. It's interesting to see what art is in someones mind and ability range. Also to think that hopefully one day she'll be more experienced in this field and her style will have matured and evolved entirely. Luckily we have her virgin painting documented.

I ended up finishing the counterpart to the painting I first showed on here. I'm pretty satisfied with it. Turned out quite well. The background colours were different on the first sort of "draft" I did but I like them now. The shape of it ended up being what I wanted as well. And I didn't think about the gold leaf when I was first doing it but it turned out well. Still have to do the sides though.

After we were done that and had a second bowl of soup, we surfed around listening to more good music and exploring the different genres we would like to sound like once we start making music. I taught her how to use the shutter speed and focus on the camera in hopes that one day she'll be doing amazing photography with a unique way of capturing life.

Now, hands splattered in grey and black, voice still sick raspy and lungs tired out, I await the plans of the evening to fall into my lap.

A movie and some baked goods sounds like a splendid idea.

M.

The Songs Of Sickness

This week is a bit of a break for me. It's Thursday and I've not painted, done any yoga, or worked out at all. I may do a bit of walking and some painting tomorrow but honestly, I just don't have the energy to go full out just yet. I'm thinking Monday will be when I actually get back into it.

This sickness is sucking the fun out of me.

Though, it is amusing. I get this low sort of growl coming from the bottoms of my lungs after I cough each time. I apparently am entertained by the small things in life.

I think I'm going to fold some laundry and go read in bed for a while. If it weren't such a gorgeous day out, I wouldn't be so bummed about my planned activities. Oh well, I teach a gentle flow class tonight and I don't really want to be hacking and sputtering all over everyone. I know it's not a great thing to say but I kind of hope only a few people come. I don't reeeally want to be teaching a class of 25 with sickness spewing from my lungs. (It's not actually that bad)

Any reccommendations as to how I can rid myself of this without drugs?

Wish me luck!

M


P.S. Went to a Ratatat concert on Tuesday night (yes I was still sick but I wouldn't miss it for the world) Here's a few videos to bring you into the enlightenment that is Ratatat

Mahalo - Thumbs up the reincarnation comment!

Bare Feast - My favorite song of theirs.

Ze Concert! - The live show. Fanfrickentastic.

These Dreams

Lately I've felt super inspired by a certain Danish singer/song writer named Oh Land. She creates out of anything and maybe because she's not a Westerner but she seems to really have little shame in what she does. She is fully expressive and when she decides to cover her face in glitter, she does it!
To me it relates to a childlike nature. When a kid wants something, for the most part, they just go for it. Now, how that can be related and used as an adult is actually quite simple. Don't react to all the little things. Or as it's more commonly put, chill out! A repeating theme lately in my life is reaction. We are programed to immediately feel emotion and express it to the full extent. What I see in Oh Land (Nanna Øland Fabricius) is the ability to have almost a detachment from life just so that she is capable of giving what she feels is right as a reaction. Not caring about the little judgments that people put out in the world. Putting out only what is useful to her. No exaggerations or dramatic antics.
Sometimes I feel there is a fine line between creative personality and over the top personality (depending on the person) but then again, who am I to judge?

Just what's going on in my head right now..

ta ta

Meri

Creative Fluxuation

A couple nights ago, I had just gone to bed and sort of settled down when I realized, I wasn't really settled. My fingers were still buzzing and I needed to get up and create.
So I did.
This was before I watched "Exit Through the Gift Shop" - A Banksy film. Whom I respect tremendously. Enjoy the Trailer here.
Of course that inspired another whirlwind of images and general go-getter ability.

I must say though. I do enjoy where I am going as an artist.
I remember being 16 and watching films like these (Pollock documentary ect.) and finding really amazing artists and just thinking I wanted to BE them. Then getting frustrated because when I tried to replicate their work, I couldn't. Now (with a little inspiration from my baby sister) I just allow their talent to encourage me to be better and continue to push myself to make more art. It's rather nice. So this is a part of my little artistic splurge lately...
Enjoi! Meri