Catch the Bullet

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
And dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly


And dreams of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise


It's good to get away for a bit. But it's even better to make the choices that are needed in your life to be happy on a consistent basis.

I need to make changes. I need to shed a lot of fears and press forwards with life.

Now is as good of a time as any.

M.

Come and Go

Stand-by for the kaleidascope skies.
Reflecting in her radical eyes.
Boy tries what the girl denies,
After a rainstorm,
A rainbows the prize.

The appeture in my lense is focusing. My depth of field is shifting. The view I once had has now blurred and another, different, daunting and refreshing outlook is appearing before me. Currently, I am too overwhelmed to put enjoyment into this change. All I seem to be looking for is comfort. And yet, I still strive to find the focal points in this new landscape. I push further for more and more change while being held down by the coat tails by the weight of stability.

Is it better to flourish and stumble forwards in expansion and quest for bigger, wider, deeper knowledge? Or is it better to dampen the expansion only slightly, maybe just in a different way, to stablize and root oneself? I know my life will affect and impact the world around me no matter what I choose. I know my life will leave a story. As to what story, I am befuddled. Legitimately feeling torn is the worst and best feeling. I know the choice I make will be the "better" one no matter what. But to actually make a choice is daunting.

If you haven't already guessed, or have even spent all of 5 minutes with me, you'll know I don't decide well. I love being the leaf on the water, going whichever way the wind takes and allowing for others to decide my circumstances. It get's me into trouble occasionally. It tends to take away from my life force from time to time. There is a delicate balance between standing within yourself and allowing life to happen. I stand, teetering, wavering in the breeze, in that balance quite often. It's an odd place to hold your life, I know.

I have been catching my thoughts lately. The ones that have been standing out are the ones where I am dreaming of packing up everything I own, tying off loose ends and hitchhiking to California. Or driving up north and living in a cabin for the winter in solace.

Looping back to my first subject; Fantasy or reality? Stability or freedom? As much as I would genuinely like to send that question out for other people to answer, I know the answer needs to come from me. I need to look to myself, and ask honestly.

Much work to be done..

M.

"And your voice still echos in the hallways of this house"

Simple Chaos

A certain bear once sang of the simplicities of life. A certain boy, dancing behind that bear where ever he went, believed him, wholeheartedly.
Now, ask any artist, any musician, any person with passion and venom, what they give in their efforts. What do they show for themselves. Complexity. Dynamic. Diversity.

What I want to express today is the brilliance and the depth of the gradient in between the two.

Starting with the muddled. Life gets so out of control, so wild and impulsive, so structured and tight. It whirls around you in circles, be them rigidly in perfectly accurate lines or splaying in every direction with chaotic momentum and zest. There is confusion and perception always in the way of clear thought. Mountains upon mountains of layered compacted habitual behavior that sometimes never get touched, never mind dealt with. Our minds work endlessly hard to build these walls to protect and stave off the negative. But what we sometimes don't realize is that these walls are just good at keeping the hurt out as they are at keeping it tucked in.

On the other side of the map there is simplicity. Some people have too much of it. They can't grasp the concept of diversity and depth. They allow certain things to be the only thing they see and close down to any other method of behavior or thought process. Some people reject it and push it down in favor of drama and chaos. Some people take advantage of the simplicity that external objects grant them. Be it food, coffee, alcohol, heroin, or a sharp blade. Everything has the potential for abuse and overuse in the path to simple thought. People have these over active, undirected minds that stray off to unhealthy things just to experience it and have it encapsulate them.

There is a third option.
I believe that our divinity, our wisdom and ability comes from being able to step back and take everything in while having the capability to narrow our focus to the smallest part of ourselves and bring a thorough self awareness to our lives. That gradient between the big picture and the smallest click is our gift. Our ability to see the beauty and vibrancy in life is what makes us human. We have access to death and chaos while still being fully able to provide health and love.

How I see it (my own personal opinion.. not that any of these words aren't just my perception), the first step is breath. I know I'm a yoga teacher and it's the obvious choice but there are very few people that I know that appreciate the importance of air entering your lungs. It gives us the control over our bodies and minds that we need to be able to do the work of stepping back and easing forwards. It gives us the motivation and easement to be able to balance the ebb and flow of life. To be able to breathe fully and sit in stillness is the best anchor and growth someone can do for themselves. To be able to see that we live and die alone and if we know ourselves to the greatest capability, we can love and share with others so much more fruitfully.

Moral of the story. Appreciate life and everything it holds for you. Allow yourself to love and be loved. Give the world your best even if it's not returned to you immediately and appreciate the little bursts of sparkly brilliance that come your way. Notice them. Accept them. Open yourself to the possibility of life being a wonderful journey that we can only do our utmost with. Paddling against the river does nothing but tire out your weary arms and mind. Don't bother wasting your time and energy on past bullshit that serves you no purpose. Learn from your lessons, take in the wisdom and maturity time has to offer and stride onwards towards acceptance, happiness, love and gratitude. Be playful.

Why not?

M.

This Too

Lady Love once gave a description of life to me. She said something along the lines of "I feel like my life is a bouncy ball and some kid is whipping it at the floor."
Depressing, maybe. Accurate? Definitely. It makes it worse that the picture of innocence and naiveity is what is causing the outbursts of kinetic energy.
My question is, why do we as humans, put our noses so close to the paper? Why do we have to make everything magnified to the point of catastrophic disaster over what is really, quite small matters of thought process?
Passion helps settle these thoughts. Passion for art, for yoga, music, love, friends, fulfillment.

Curiosity for life brings new light to bleak situations.

I was told recently that I take things too seriously. Quite a true statement in this context. There are certain moments where I over analyze the smallest of situation and it takes off from there. There are so many sayings that are applicable to this type of situation.
"This too shall pass" Is one that comes to mind. To keep in mind the inevitability of time is so important. The good, the bad, the emotional, the silly, the blissful, will all be gone. What do we choose to hold on to?

I read a story in a fantastic book about how there is this camp that help young people with intense feelings of loss and trauma. One of the excersizes is getting the kids to write their secrets on rocks and carry them around with them on a hike. At the end of the hike, they empty their pockets of their secrets and toss them into the creek. The person telling the story said how they were amazed at how emotional some of them got from physically letting go of their burdens . And yet, how some of them chose to keep these secrets with them. Taking them to bed that night and home on the bus the next day. Almost like if they let go of it, they would be letting go of themselves.

Now I know there is a lot of psychological words and names that could explain that but from the way I see it, people don't want to let go of what they see as events or times that make them who they are. If they let it go, there is an openness to them that is massive and unknown. There is a chance for them to become different and unstuck. For some reason, the human brain likes to lean towards being more like a brick wall than an open window. It can be so hard for us to let go of categories and mental lines that we draw for ourselves and allow people, society and life to draw for us.

The worst part about it all is that it takes work to become open. It takes effort to change. But it also takes effort to stay the same. So at least I know that the work is already there, it just needs to be displaced. Even just in little actions. Putting influential statements up on the wall where eyes can view it, making little positive choices in things like eating well or getting up when needed. The small things that form together is what makes life easier to do.

It will all be the same in the end, so why not make what we have worth it right now?

M.

Post Secret. The best way to feel human.

Plant Life

I had the pleasure of going to the farm of a good friend of mine the other day. Lets call him the suiting name of Green Thumb. He has the most marvelous green house and garden I've ever laid eyes on. There is so much produce and foliage in that tented little structure, it's almost overwhelming. (As you can see from the picture) I can't tell you how nice it is to see someone growing all this food for themselves. But yet, not just for themselves either, for every time I go there I am loaded with fresh produce which I later turn into lush, crisp salads and other such delicious foods. He spoils me quite a lot.
Places such as this remind me of a simple fact of life. We are all growing. We are all planting roots wherever we are in life. We leave little seedlings of ourselves in other peoples soil in the effect we have on our surroundings. Our fruit is the product of the germination of ourselves and the acceptance and reception of other people on ourselves. We are always reaching for the light. And when we don't, we wither and weaken. Our prana, our life force starts to shrivel and retreat from anything nourishing around us. This is why it is good to start with the basics of what substances we feed our plant body. What are we absorbing in life to keep us running? Food from gardens grown with love? Or foods from a store grown with quick production in mind? Maybe you don't need to be so specific. What kinds of food are you placing inside your body?

I find a good way of figuring out what is good for you is asking yourself simply that. Is this good for me? Look at the ingredients of whatever you're ingesting and ask yourself, "do I need this sugar to survive?"
There is also the mind aspect of this plant life that we live so well. Who are we allowing to infiltrate our nutritional system? Healthy, steady and well rounded people who accept you and bring you joy in your life? Or tiring, draining and withering people who drain us of our abilities to live brightly? Because of their effect on your life, is the fruit you produce more luscious and vibrant? Are the things you are saying positive and encouraging? Are you a more accepting person because of the people you are in constant contact with?
I truly believe that we are the product of our environment. If we choose to bring people who act as fertlizers into your life, you will grow with more ease and strength. If you see the good in situations, your life will become a more vibrant product of that. Sometimes it is easy to get yourself in a funk of micro thought. Of putting that magnifying glass in front of the situation and focusing in on the smallest of details. It puts everything in a funk and before you know it, you're attracting more along the same vein. Everything in your life starts to relate to this negative state you've allowed to take over you. Just as a plant reaches for the sunlight and follows it throughout the day, so should I. So should we. If we don't reach for the sun, the brightness of life and the sweetness in all situations, what is there for us? What is the point?

Really. What is the point of life, without light? Without sweetness. Without softness. Expansion and rooting. The balance between moving steadily in opposite directions, solidly and extensively.

To be able to take pride in the inner most part of the human core and yet be able to be malleable and have the capability to swell with change and growth is so respectable. The people who achieve this, even for a small amount of time, are happy. Those are the ones I look up to. I can say that honestly, I only know of maybe 3 people that really truly embody this, and I love them for being such an inspiration. But I want to be that person as well. I want to bring this abundance to peoples lives. Sometimes I royally mess things up but in order to become this effulgent person, I need to be able to make room for mistakes and forgive. I need to be able to open myself to the possibility of a vital sparkly life full of love and joy. No one else is going to break the clouds open for you. It is our responsibility to find our own path to brightness.

May your leaves be wide and absorbent, your stalk sturdy and strong and may your roots go deep into the rich and yielding soil you have laid for your life.

That line could easily be from the 1700's.
I'm ok with that.

M.

Despite A Winters Day

Yeasayer Red Cave

I went out past the willow and the well
caught my breath upon the hill
at the edge of the domain

And I went down
and further down
and when I got up,
I'm at the red cave

And with that sound
as if I had been put under a spell
she led me to her abode
despite a winter's day

Meri's house in the hollow of the
white hazel rapid whirlpool
and the church of hurricane

I'm so blessed to
have spent that time
with my family and the friends
I love with my short life I have met
so many people I deeply care for

I'm so blessed to
have spent that time
with my family and the friends
I love with my short life I have met
so many people I deeply care for

The Wee One (my lovely sister) showed me this song. She says it's because of the description of walking to the cave and the connection to the people in this persons life. Then she realized it said Meri's house. Of course it's Mary's house but I'm a dork so I change it. Makes me feel like it's mine.

I feel as if this is actually the perfect song for me. Maybe just for right now but I do have a deep connection with it. I feel like at some point in my life I will go into hiding in a cabin in a forest and live on my own. I can also see myself doing a hibernation for a period of time, becoming a hermit and then having all my friends and family come and meet me, spend a month together living in harmony and then going back to life and society feeling refreshed and brimming with love and compassion for the world.

I want to be able to do what she is doing in the song. Lead people to a place of genuine spirit and connection. I'm glad I have a fighting spirit, I am. But it hurts me. It brings confrontation and a discomfort in people. I try so hard to be true and simple. Why does that scare people so much? Why does an honest question that brings you deeper into yourself make people so frightened of life? I am just as scared. I am just as fearful and timid. But I accept. At least I want to. Sometimes I don't. But I need to keep trying. As much as people keep pressing me and building up walls to my demeanor and even just my image, I need to keep strong.

So do you.

We are all learning in this life. No one knows what is on the other side. If you claim to know, you just know less. The way I see it, the sooner that is accepted, the easier life gets. But who am I to tell anyone?

As soon as you think you know, you have only reached a door to a whole new view. There is so much more than just this. There always will be. Be strong.

I'm so blessed to
have spent that time
with my family and the friends
I love with my short life I have met
so many people I deeply care for.

M.

Extra love for the music joy.
Because I miss the sunshine already and it's not even gone. But alas, "don't be sad because it's over, be happy it happened" - Seuss

This Is The Life

Oh dear. I have been doing just too much lately and hearing so many kind words spread throughout my life that it's all too much to be putting down while it happens.

I'll start it all off with a quote/theme of my "guru's". My teacher/boss at the studio is this wonderful person as I've mentioned before and she gave this class today that I so enjoyed. It was refreshing because most of the time when I am enjoying a class it's because it has these amazing poses that open me up and strengthen me in ways I wasn't expecting. This class however, was about the earth under the rocks. And, well, the rocks themselves. (Of life that is. Because I of all people would never use a metaphor) Sometimes we allow these huge stresses to bear down on us and weight our life. It happens. No one can stop it and there's really no point. The best we can do is deal with it with elegance, grace and kindness.
But what we often don't see is the life under these weights atop us. When you pick up a rock in the forest, you will most likely find a whole suburban system of life and living creatures. It's a network of growth and fertility. The earth is moist and mellow, perfect for living comfortably in and being steady but there is things like moss and bugs and worms all living and passing time above and within it.
What I feel we need to see is the potential these stresses give us. We are given these laden drops in the ebb and flows and we can choose to see the ability it gives us to re ground and re group or we can wallow in it and become stagnant and drained.
As a kid, I loved picking up rocks and seeing all that was below it. It is the smaller version of our lives. Just as we are the smaller version of what is going on around us and outside of us. It keeps growing in both directions and the fact that we are a part of the masterpiece that is this life, is refreshing and invigorating.

NOW to give you a bit of a map of the life I've been leading.
Oh fun times.

Went to The Fringe, enjoyed the drunken business of Whyte Ave on a Saturday evening, reveled in the summer night warmth, and had a drink or two with quite the best of company.





Hung out with the Canine for a while in the front yard the other day. I love and appreciate her so much. She's probably the most amazing dog I've ever met and I'm so glad she is the way she is. Softest part of my heart belongs to her.






Been spending a lot of time with Lowly and Family. They have been quite good to me and I love them all dearly. Such a warm and genuine family. The only people I love to be made fun of by.


Said goodbye to a friend with boardgames, drinks and home made delicious cookies. I so appreciate the people in my life. They are so full of life... and penis jokes.



And watched the sun set last night before spending some quality time with My Yogi. Days like these you would love to be stuck in and yet want to continue forever.

I've been really keeping up on yoga as of lately and just went for a workout today for the first time in a while! I so enjoy feeling good like this. I think I may just be preparing myself for a seasonal change but I really do love the place I'm in right now. As stressful as things get and as many sucker punches to the balls I seem to be getting as of lately, I do enjoy this light that seems to be begging to be let out in its entirety. And it will be.

You'll see.

M.

Cogs Gears and Yoga

Sometimes life clicks. There are many types of this particular situation. One that I have experienced as of recently is the type where the laws of physics and time just sprinkle a little bit of sparkles along your life path. It happens when you least expect it and sometimes it really just ends up being a blow to the side of the head. You don't fully realize that life has been moving you in this one direction since the beginning of time. Our minds can't fully comprehend that notion but we can sure as hell try.
I see us all as unique individual cogs in the gear of a massive watch that keeps ticking. No right or wrong, no good or bad, just gears, doing their respective jobs to continue the movement of time.
Emotions is where things get confusing for us (me). At points, I'm on top of the world. I'm so happy, my heart and head are bursting out of my body and shining this brilliant light out into the world around. Sometimes I'm lop sided and unbalanced. Staggering around in my path, losing my footing and being overwhelmed by each thought.

I took a Bikram class tonight. (Hence the abundant thought process) I really enjoyed it. I'm definitely going to include it into my practice. To be able to not think and just be connected with these extremely active poses is quite refreshing. And I honestly loved the heat. It was great to feel as if my skin was going to just lift off of my body and fill the gap with this buzzing energy of vibrancy and life.
I had to be so aware. I really had to make sure I was asking myself if every movement was something I really wanted to be doing. Sometimes I had little time to think, sometimes it wouldn't take much thought.

By the end of it, I was alive. The energy of the people around me was incredible and so invigorating. It were as if the space between everything, everyone, wasn't really there. Air turned to solid, moist, heat that mixed so well with the haze of sweat all over my body. Everything just mixed into all that was around it so simply and flawlessly.

My heart glowed green and was expanding with every breath. I felt as if it were this radiation that was touching everyone in the room.

Now this is a bit of an extreme experience for me, but it is usually something along these lines that I feel while doing yoga. I become so grounded and yet completely aware of everything. Detached from emotional effect or drama. Simple. Clean minded. Fresh but still with depth of mind.

This is how I feel everything clicks. There is a distinct pop sound when you hear a solid fit perfectly in line with another solid. The metaphorical pop happened for me. Keeps happening. It's a breath of clean, cool, vivacious air.

Another thing that has really resinated with me lately is sound. I've been enjoying a couple different artists, looking back on some past ones with new light and so on. I have been enjoying reverberation quite a lot. Seeing a lot of visuals to match with sounds that make it hit a bit deeper of a nerve in my mind. It's nice to really have an appreciation for good, solid music.

Life love cogs gears cadence and movement.

M.

A New Vein in Time

Entertain your eardrums with this as your eyeballs do all the work.

At the studio that I teach at, we do this "inspirational rocks" thing. Basically (as cheeseball as it sounds) there are a bunch of polished rocks in a basket up at the front of the room and in Savasana the teacher bring the basket to each person, allowing them to choose the rock that they need. On it is an inspirational saying. (Connect with Nature, Relax, Breathe in Breathe Out, for example) Sometimes it's really just a rock to me. Sometimes I feel very little from whatsoever.

Let me skip a beat for a second and tell you how this is semi in relation to my blip of existence. As I've mentioned before in previous blogs, there is a lot of change going on in my life. And I think I either knew or manifested it a long time ago because I had this sort of saying of "2011 holds some big changes" and I said it long before I even knew what the plan was for this year. Well, part of this plan is moving back to the homeland. Western forests and ocean views is on this girls path. As excited as I am, there is a whole new world opening up for me. I'm going back at a completely different age and stage of life in general. As I said to Champ today, my mind is opening and growing at a rapid rate and I am just learning to accept and allow it all to happen. So this is creating, as you might have guessed, quite a bit of anxiety in my thought process.

Now it circles back. My rock the other day said simply "No Fear"

Made me realize something along a bit of a different vein.

I taught a class after that whole rock experience about the movement of time and how it applies to our yogic practice. I was saying how every amount of time can be broken into the smallest of moments and snaps of life. The world turns, millions of people eat their cereal while millions are making love. Nature lives and dies, we are just a small pin point in the scheme of things. And we will never be this young ever again! We will never be this person with these ideals with these exact memories or lack there of.

Which maps me right back to, no fear.

Why? Why bother having fear in our lives? I challenge anyone to bring me a point of why fear is a necessity in every day living.

Now, I'm not an extremest. Sure, in a perfect world, peace love and happiness could prevail. We could all hold hands and live a merry little life in our grande hobbit holes and farms of fresh nurturing goodness for the souls of everyone. In a perfect world, we could live sans-fear. But it's not perfect. So what?

So we bring a bit of easiness into our choices. We allow simplicity into the little thoughts going through our heads. Everyone has them. The Rolodex of categories with sub categories A-Z spinning around. Or maybe a boardroom of different sides of you all arguing different points. Whatever your visual, can it be simplified? Can it be relieved of weight? Can it be fearless?

My question to myself through all the haze and obstruction is, who will I allow myself to be?

M.



Click line below for loves sake.

Long awaited bliss..

Incomplete .1

Something that I've been chewing through lately is the concept of being accepting in the uncomfortable situations of life.

Here's how my thought process goes.

I want to always be growing, learning, expanding. Even when I do let my mind rest and just numb out, I'm still doing it for the reason of growth. I give myself breaks to be able to continue to grow more thoroughly. For the most part lately, it's all been quite a controlled growing period. Very little chaos was had.

A metaphor The Man used last night that I've had a visual of for a while now is, I feel as if I've been thrown into a field and not given a direction but told to find the path that best suits me. Not only that, but I don't know who I am. So I am to find a personalized path for someone I don't know. I have 100% options. How is one supposed to narrow it down from that?

There is a discomfort. An unknown aspect of life that is overwhelming. And yet, I don't want to get back into a comfortable haze. Where is the medium? Where is the balance?

I guess, thus is life. Finding the balance in all situations. Sometimes I feel as if I regress and my maturity is out the window. (Ok, I feel like that a lot lately..) But sometimes I feel solid and expansive. The quest is to learn how to continue those moments of feeling rooted in yourself and growing to who you want to be, all the while keeping that self love. Discovering who you are and who you're changing into is all part of the excitement.

A good question to ask yourself in these situations (I assume) is, how can I make this happier? Brighter? More fun and adventurous? What can I do to bring a lightness to this situation?

I still haven't quite figured this out yet. I have a feeling this will be an ongoing theme in my life, at least for a while. I'm sure I'll do a .2 on the subject soonish..

Genuine ponderings,

M.

Observant of the Times

As I amble along my journey in life, I start to look back in glances at my previous mindsets and levels of self awareness. Which, in all honesty, I think is quite healthy! It helps to provide me with a sense of growth and pride for how far I've made it. I've made it as far as I have and that's all I can do. I don't have a set goal of happiness. Just continual joy and freedom.

Neither here, nor there!

I would like to think that, as a kid, I had quite a free mind. Sure, I grew up in a bit of a tight religious conformity type circle but it helped me to gain morals and an ability to create community around me. Alas, fancy free, was I. Priding myself on the caked masses of dirt between my toes and under my nails, the scars on my legs and arms, the sun burns I got from hours a day of running around in raspberry fields and making very little money. (due to lack of work and horrid pay) There was always an underlying weight of maturity that had been thrown upon me but I was capable of still being a true child. Those days were bliss.

I don't feel there was really one specific age that turned me to a teenager, filled with angst and rebellion. It just slowly started to happen. But the point of this post is less to do about my mental and emotional state and more to do with my style and comfort. I feel like as a teenager, everything is in a haze. (For most, there are a lucky fashion forward few that keep their shit together.) I remember walking into my church, a few times, with one of my favorite outfits. Black slip on shoes (I was much too tall for heals, and still now), rainbow knee high socks, black knee length skirt with lace separating the panels of fabric to show the slightest bit of skin, and a massive black hoodie. Accompanied by whatever colour hair my friend and I had decided to do that week and a faux hawk of some sort. Or a pixie cut.

Not my best time period.

I would like to think that I've grown. And not only have I expanded in maturity on a general basis but maturity in the amount of comfort I have in my personal style. Back then I was making a statement. I was proving to the world that I was not the people around me and I shouldn't be seen as such. Now, I dress the way I do because I like the way I dress. I find materials that make me happy, colours that suit my moods and movements. I guess in a way, I'm still making a statement, just now it's a whole lot softer. Maybe even filled with more kindness. Towards myself, towards my surroundings, towards life in general.

I love fashion but merely because I love expression. The human mind can take art and the perspective of self and manipulate it into so many different categories and shapes. With how complex we are, how creative we can be and how beautiful life is, what's not to like? Overall, I'm just incredibly happy that I've found a groove, a channel to allow my expression to flow through. I was paid a great compliment the other day. Someone was telling me how there is such diversity in my personality and ability to express. As a "young adult", I hated that. I wanted to find my niche. I wanted to be good at one thing and live it out to the best of my ability. I wanted to dress one way and be that to the fullest extent.

Most people call me a hippie, a category I'm happy to sport. Honestly, I'm just happy to be me.

Glancing observations,

M.

P.S.
Thankful love goes to my wonderful photographer, Lowely. Making pictures look nice even when the idea is sprung upon her.

I Am Aglow

How lucky I am to live the way I do.

Lady Love and I were talking to a friend (Champ.. a newly acquired, much appreciated friend) last night about being yoga teachers. We were saying how we don't think we can go back to the day job of 9 - 5, nose to the grindstone, hate your life and wish for release type job anymore. We've pushed the bar so high, at such a young age, that there's nowhere for us to go but up.

This picture is evidence of that. I work, do yoga, go home, listen to music whilst I blog or clean, go out with friends, teach a class, and sleep. I live off of the love of my passions! If I could give everyone in the world one huge gift, it would be the gift of living off of what you love. And loving how you live.

I guess my only qualm is that now I have to continue to move forwards and not cling to what I have. Keep pushing upwards and onwards. Thank life and existence for the friends I have and the people in my life, and continue. Enjoy every. little. moment. It will pass, it won't be there forever. Love it while you've got it and keep going, keep loving, keep finding light.

I am aglow.

If I ever seem down in any of these blogs, someone punch me.. Hard.

Shuma shumshum..

M.

Ebb and Flow

My Dancing Queen has explained life to me in a very descriptive and accurate way before. She says that life is just a lot of waves of ups and downs (obviously) and we can either allow ourselves to be taken along with them, feeling the extreme of each little curve or we can see how level we can allow our path to be. Now the trick is, being able to see that this is just a scoop or a dip in the sound wave that is our life. Being able to have a large enough perspective of life, the earth, existence to understand that even the good things will end but that we just need to appreciate everything whenever it comes our way.

I know this is quite a typical yoga teacher type thing to say but I really do connect to it on a deep level.

I just think that it's so important in life to keep in mind that we are human. We all are different and yet still the same. We have a connection with each other and the earth and yet we are all totally unique. To think that we need to all be the same and do the same things, have the same experiences, think the same way would be foolish. Each persons dips and arches are different. Sometimes they align and sometimes they don't. I love being this, being me, being here, so why shouldn't everyone choose to do the same? We don't choose to be human but we choose HOW we can be human.

I've been changing my life drastically lately. It is something that I've made sure is always close to my mindset. If not of it. To be able to level off your thoughts is such a skill and I really do appreciate that I've been able to surround myself in people who are quite good at encouraging it within me.

On a side note that is slightly related, I would just like to express how happy I am. I think I've been working for a long time to reach this sort of peak in my life and I'm quite content with the people I have surrounding me and the things I am planning for my future. Now if only my love for life could pay my bills. Ho hum. Life goes on.

Thought process of the day: complete

M.


Picture is of the lunch and tea that was so courteously prepared for Miss Bashful and I by Cutie Pie. I love my friends.

Active Practice In Public

After a week or so of sickness, my Lady Love friend and I decided to do a much needed yoga walk. My Man has a Cannon 40D so we thought, why not take some awesome pictures, do some sweet poses, and get some excersize? (And of course be as silly as possible in every situation we encounter)
Along the way, we (A) met up with a few lovely puppies. The one shown in the picture here is part wolf part husky. Gorgeous girl, she was. Her name was Luna and she wanted nothing but buckets of love.
We (B) took some fake pictures on a film camera which the film didn't end up actually catching on so it didn't actually turn out. Oh well, we looked cool and I got to teach my lovely friend of the ways of shutter speeds and depth of field. It's interesting to see someone's photography style unfold in front of you.
And (C) ended up getting swarmed by mosquitoes whilst trying to be at our most "zen" in these outdoor poses! Apparently those bloodsuckers like to really test your focus in certain (well, actually all) yoga poses. It's not easy to support yourself in shoulder stand when you can see 3 mosquitoes flying around your legs and landing on you. Especially when you're as sweet as us and know you'll be swelling up within the hour... It's that bad.
I think this is something I'm going to do with a couple of my yogi friends. Perhaps invite my Dancing Queen to come next time as well. She'd be a fun person to ad to our silliness. (Seeing as that's pretty much all we do, permanent goof off mode) I want to almost document my progression through yoga. Not just in this summer but all the time. I want to see how far I've come with my practice. And like we were saying when we were doing handstands about 40ft away from a baseball game, it's not about how deep you can get into the pose or how strong/flexible you are. It's about your stability and engagement. Are you capable of feeling the full extent of the pose? When in dancers, are you able to square your hips and still feel the full stretch through the shoulders and hip? I obviously have quite a way to go in some of my poses but I love that I'm able to learn and grow without beating myself up about it anymore. I love that people can do different things than me. My lady love is capable of a completely different practice than I but it makes us interesting. I love learning from her flow and strength and teaching her the things that I'm "good" at.
The same goes for my classes and teaching style. I love when teachers attend my class and critique my style, wording, phrasing, transitions, everything! It makes me feel as if I'm growing in my yogic journey to be able to converse with people about our practice. Connecting to people who share the passion is so gratifying, I don't think I would choose any other career.

There is something so awe inspiring within the yogic practice of mind and body. Sometimes it lifts you, sometimes if floors you, either way, you learn with every step, breath, and thought.

What a life.

What a love.

What a passion.

The Songs Of Sickness

This week is a bit of a break for me. It's Thursday and I've not painted, done any yoga, or worked out at all. I may do a bit of walking and some painting tomorrow but honestly, I just don't have the energy to go full out just yet. I'm thinking Monday will be when I actually get back into it.

This sickness is sucking the fun out of me.

Though, it is amusing. I get this low sort of growl coming from the bottoms of my lungs after I cough each time. I apparently am entertained by the small things in life.

I think I'm going to fold some laundry and go read in bed for a while. If it weren't such a gorgeous day out, I wouldn't be so bummed about my planned activities. Oh well, I teach a gentle flow class tonight and I don't really want to be hacking and sputtering all over everyone. I know it's not a great thing to say but I kind of hope only a few people come. I don't reeeally want to be teaching a class of 25 with sickness spewing from my lungs. (It's not actually that bad)

Any reccommendations as to how I can rid myself of this without drugs?

Wish me luck!

M


P.S. Went to a Ratatat concert on Tuesday night (yes I was still sick but I wouldn't miss it for the world) Here's a few videos to bring you into the enlightenment that is Ratatat

Mahalo - Thumbs up the reincarnation comment!

Bare Feast - My favorite song of theirs.

Ze Concert! - The live show. Fanfrickentastic.

Trapped

Loo loves the outdoors but isn't really the brightest. She would probably ingest every twig she came in contact with. Hence me keeping her indoors. Sometimes you've got to protect the ones you love... from puking.

Obviously, she's not pleased..

Enjoy!

M