Despite A Winters Day

Yeasayer Red Cave

I went out past the willow and the well
caught my breath upon the hill
at the edge of the domain

And I went down
and further down
and when I got up,
I'm at the red cave

And with that sound
as if I had been put under a spell
she led me to her abode
despite a winter's day

Meri's house in the hollow of the
white hazel rapid whirlpool
and the church of hurricane

I'm so blessed to
have spent that time
with my family and the friends
I love with my short life I have met
so many people I deeply care for

I'm so blessed to
have spent that time
with my family and the friends
I love with my short life I have met
so many people I deeply care for

The Wee One (my lovely sister) showed me this song. She says it's because of the description of walking to the cave and the connection to the people in this persons life. Then she realized it said Meri's house. Of course it's Mary's house but I'm a dork so I change it. Makes me feel like it's mine.

I feel as if this is actually the perfect song for me. Maybe just for right now but I do have a deep connection with it. I feel like at some point in my life I will go into hiding in a cabin in a forest and live on my own. I can also see myself doing a hibernation for a period of time, becoming a hermit and then having all my friends and family come and meet me, spend a month together living in harmony and then going back to life and society feeling refreshed and brimming with love and compassion for the world.

I want to be able to do what she is doing in the song. Lead people to a place of genuine spirit and connection. I'm glad I have a fighting spirit, I am. But it hurts me. It brings confrontation and a discomfort in people. I try so hard to be true and simple. Why does that scare people so much? Why does an honest question that brings you deeper into yourself make people so frightened of life? I am just as scared. I am just as fearful and timid. But I accept. At least I want to. Sometimes I don't. But I need to keep trying. As much as people keep pressing me and building up walls to my demeanor and even just my image, I need to keep strong.

So do you.

We are all learning in this life. No one knows what is on the other side. If you claim to know, you just know less. The way I see it, the sooner that is accepted, the easier life gets. But who am I to tell anyone?

As soon as you think you know, you have only reached a door to a whole new view. There is so much more than just this. There always will be. Be strong.

I'm so blessed to
have spent that time
with my family and the friends
I love with my short life I have met
so many people I deeply care for.

M.

Extra love for the music joy.
Because I miss the sunshine already and it's not even gone. But alas, "don't be sad because it's over, be happy it happened" - Seuss