My journey with yoga has made my life a more enriched experience by far, but there are always those days, sometimes even just sessions, that get to the bones of me and frustrate me to no end.
This one of of them.
The theme in class today was about doing an action over and over and expecting a different outcome. It happens a lot, in life, in yoga, everything. We are creatures of habit to the death and it can be good or bad, whatever you allow it. My habit isn't usually to be frustrated in class.
In fact, I'm quite a laid back person. Of course I have my core values and respects but for the most part, it's hard to really get under my skin. To the point of me having extremely low blood pressure, very open joints, and little core strength. Some say I'm very kapha, some say I'm water/earth sign, some say I'm just a pushover. Point being, it takes quite a bit to really piss me off.
I honestly can't tell you what was going on with me in class today. We did a series of lunge flows that got my fire going, a half lotus lift that messed with me (mainly because my arms are shorter than my torso and I can't lift) and the worst of them all were the balancing poses. I was o.k. in tree but as soon as we started to lean or (god forbid) go to dancers I was almost grumbling to myself.
Luckily that passive nature takes over at the first sign of relaxation so when we did some binds sitting down, I was ok, and Savasana was a breeze so I was able to breathe fluidly again.
One thing I found myself saying though out it all though is "It's better to try and fail than to not try at all" so I pushed myself to my limit but at least I knew where my limit lay. I didn't come out of it thinking, I could've put in more effort. I didn't feel lazy or angry at myself so I think I came out on top.
It's cheesy and typical but the point of this post is a reminder that sometimes you just have to focus on the big picture. A class isn't going to kill me and just a menial task won't kill anyone else. You've got to step away from the magnifying glass of emotion and see the whole situation.
Just the contents of my head today..