Monday, July 18, 2011
Skin to the Grindstone
Sometimes it feels as if I'm wearing a skin of sandpaper. Everything pulls and catches, snags and rips, scratches and damages. The grit changes from time to time but for the most part, it still hurts everything around me, but mainly myself.
The texture of our lives changes consistently. Not only the top layer but all the other ones as well are individualized and completely different. What I'm learning is that dreams and ideals are good to have but they won't physically rid my body and mind of this harsh surface. What will? Taking it off of myself. Peeling back the layers one by one and disposing of them efficiently. Making sure that I work at bringing my natural skin back to its healthy self. Setting aside time for the process sink in. Making realistic goals and putting them into action. Putting a light on every single thought and making it a choice. You can go one way or the other. One will bring you to a better state of life, the other will not. Because, (as Dancing Queen always says) to not make a choice, is a choice.
And as I've been told, there will always something in our lives that we are "going though." At all times. It may be smaller or unseen, it may just be beneath the surface. Whatever it is, at whatever time, it's always better to work with it than against it. Eventually that sandpaper skin will have been peeled off and somehow the situation will have been made smooth.
A lot of the time, what my fingers spill out on this keyboard and eventually end up in front of the eyes of friends and the general public, is what I would like to be. The best of myself. I put these ideas, these thoughts and views out there to hopefully have to be accountable and responsible for living up to all the ideas in my head. I can feel my mental growth expanding into tangible actions but it's taking a while. I know I need to always remember that everything is just a phase but my mind gets caught up quite easily. Soon enough though, with the encouragement of the ever loving people around me, I will see a change in myself.
Now to go and make my skin anew.